Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm f'd up inside. I've gotten so used to being alone, used and emotionally dysfunctional I've hardened and keep people at an arm's length. On the rare instance that someone approaches me I instinctively make myself unattractive or uninteresting to push them away.
On good days I can appear normal and carry small talk when I have to but I keep my interactions superficial and forgettable. I've lost all hope of finding compatible people for friends or god forbid romance autistic or not and I'm fine with that.
But my wonderful antidepressants keep the worst demons at bay, the only price being falling asleep in the afternoons.
Does anyone else self sabotage and assume they're not welcomed too?