Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
I had nowhere else to turn to and thought this might be the best place to talk to people.
So just like everyone, I couldn’t decide what to do with my life. After I left school I did 1 year of hairdressing before doing 3 years of Childcare (Level 2 & 3). Then in one week I finished college, had an interview, got the job and started that job in the same week…well I had a full meltdown to my mum on the phone and never went back to my nursery job.
Fast forward 9 years I have been diagnosed with Autism in 2017 (and found out I have had it all my life - which explains a lot of things). And I haven’t had a job or anything in those 9 years.
Well I’m coming up to 30 years old in November and I wanted to try and do something. I passed my driving test last November and I got my first ever car on mobility just over a week ago.
I thought I would try working with animals as I am a HUGE animal lover! And Chester Zoo put up an Apprenticeship for a Zoo Keeper - Which is my dream job!
Well yesterday me and my mum did a test drive to Chester Zoo and it just went badly. I had two people beep their horns at me, I didn’t enjoy my time at Chester Zoo because I knew I would have to drive home soon and then when it was time to come home I missed my turning and ended up going down lanes etc just to reroute. When I got home yesterday I was left very anxious and completely drained - So I sent an email saying I won’t be attending the interview
Myself, My Parents and some family friends think I might of jumped in too soon with getting a job/apprenticeship so far away. There are hardly any animal jobs were I live unfortunately . So I said to my mum “at this rate I will be going back to childcare”.
(Sorry for the long unnecessary backstory on how I ended up here )
ANYWAY, Since I’m autistic I thought maybe I could try and become a SEND TA. When I did my work experience during my course I always clicked with the children especially children with Special Educational Needs.
But I am in a TA group on FB and they are saying how low the pay is that some have to get a second job. I just don’t know what to do with my life, I just would like to be like everyone else and have a job and be proud of it. And to be comfortable in my job too. But I’m lost, and I hate myself because I’m a disappointed on what happened yesterday. I just want to be happy and show I can do things .
What do I do?
Try not to be too hard on yourself, if you've only just started off driving you're going to have a few mishaps so don't let them put you off. Maybe so some shorter trips to build up to a longer one.
If you really fancy the job at the zoo why not give it another try, maybe even try going via train and bus, I think there's a fairly regular bus service from Chester station to the zoo (as the zoo is a few miles out of the town), this might be another option so you can go and do the interview without the worry of driving there?
Hope it all goes ok whatever you do, sounds like you've got lots of enthusiasm, stay positive and don't be too put off by tiny setbacks. Try and think of all the things that did go ok during the day, there will always be more of those than the little things that didn't. It's definitely an autistic trait to focus on negatives and overthink them, we often forget that out of the ten things we do per day , if one goes wrong there's still nine times as many that we got right and can be proud of.
Thank you, it is very hard to stay positive after all that as I just feel stuck. I did send an email to the college who is doing the interview saying that I won’t be attending. I just don’t think I can process the travel routes either by car or public transport (which would take me over an hour to get to the Zoo)
At the moment I am just stuck at what I am good at. I don’t know what I’m interested in that I would enjoy as a job, and it’s hard to find a job in my area since it’s mainly charity shops, hairdressing etc
I don’t want to be stuck at home doing nothing in five years time, I just would like to sit there and be proud of what I have accomplished in my career. But at the moment it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen x
AmyLR94 said: I don’t know what I’m interested in that I would enjoy as a job, and it’s hard to find a job in my area since it’s mainly charity shops, hairdressing etc
I posted a list of jobs that are often suitable for autists and some advice on considering them - this may help you start to narrow possible careers.
https://community.autism.org.uk/f/introduce-yourself/37769/struggling-to-live-normal-life-with-autism
The zoo job with a 1 hour commute sounds not uncommon for people - think of the time to relax on the train, read or listen to music and prepare yourself for the day - or the trip home. It needs you to be OK being around others though - and is quite expensive, but not as expensive as running a car in many cases.
The driving aspect is one you get used to - repeated exposure to it and learing to not care if someone is impatient and blows their horn - all part of the motoring experience and it soon gets easier.
Could you rent a room closer to the zoo and live there independently? It may be easier but only if they pay enough money from the job to make it cost effective.
Just a few thoughts I hope are useful.