Published on 12, July, 2020
I have gone through talking therapy in the past and reflected on whether it was beneficial at all. In the short term it was good to have someone listen to me and feel better about myself for a while but then I had to quit when I felt it wasn't going anywhere. I also can't tell if they're being sincere or just pretending to be sympathetic because they're paid to.
I recently started again but now I'm not sure if I can continue. I'm also not comfortable disclosing my most personal issues anymore or having to tell my story again and again each time. I feel like a broken record.
I also feel I can't be myself in those sessions and I now avoid discussing my autism, past self-harm thoughts or sexual repression out of fear of being misunderstood or not taken seriously despite assurances of understanding or non-judgment.
Speaking as a former cousellor, I think you're being unfair, we don't have a playbook as you call it, but we do learn a particular type of therapy and they're no all the same, maybe you should research different theraputic methods and find a therapist who pratices the one you feel most suitable to you. In your first session interview your therapist, you have to feel comfortable with them. Dont' expect to feel comfortable telling someone your whole story straight away, in my experience it takes at least 6 weeks before client feel able to start trusting.
As a client, I understand the frustration with having to tell your story over and over again and it often feels retraumatising, espically if it's stuff you already mostly dealt with. To be honest I don't think this is nessercarily an autism problem, but an experienced client problem where the therapist feels they have to start at the begining and go over old ground. I've had better success when I've told the therapist about my previous therapy and say that this is what I feel I need to work on now, but I will go back to previous stuff if it becomes relevant. If you do find overlaps and have to revisit old stuff then it will be in a different context.
Obviously a therapist is paid to be non judgemental and empathetic, but it dosen't mean its not real, those skills extend into every part of your life for ever, even now some 25 years later, I find myself afronted by the snap judgements of others and their lack of fellow feeling and empathy and the journey towards being non judgemental and empathetic continues and will continue I suspect until I die. The sort of people who go into counselling and therapy as a career are those who genuinely want to help others, they will have had their own therapy as part of their training. But these are also human beings and they won't get it right for everybody all of the time. I would caveat this with asking where and how they trained? One of the things I noticed was those who come via nursing or social work are often more confined in their thinking than those who come to it from other routes. As a counsellor I had many disagreement with medical and social work staff about what we do, why giving advice is different to counselling, confidentiality means just that and it's confidential from them too, as a counsellor I don't make diagnosis, I'm not qualified to do so, I'm trained to recognise certain traits and may have to refer a client on to someone more qualified, for both my safety and theirs.