Published on 12, July, 2020
I, a 30 something male, have occasional longings for romantic connections. It's so stupid, I have never had friends let alone a girlfriend, and I know it's a lifelong endeavour of self development and discovery.
It is usually triggered by seeing couples walk along the street holding hands or hugging and being bombarded by media no matter how much I avoid it. It has also been a catalyst for my depression which I have since controlled with medication.
It's wrong of me to think about such things when I lack even the most basic friendship and socialising skills which come naturally to most people. I feel like I don't deserve to think about romantic love and I'm putting the cart before the horse. I'm usually content enough when I'm busy with my hobbies and errands.
To be clear, I have ASD Level 1, I have little sexual interest at most and I am always respectful of people. Also I decided long ago to never marry or have children.
Most advice says to quash those troublesome feelings and mind my own business, more so as a guy who is expected to be strong and free of weakness.
A lot of online advice falls back on cynicism and self help clichés, like I should love myself or that autistic men are undateable, etc.
I dont think its stupid and i dont think you are wrong to feel like this. They are natural feelings and longings, but i do understand what you mean. I sometimes think that i dont understand relationships, but would love that soul mate who would always be there for me and me for them. I struggle to get my head around the fact that 2 strangers choose to spend the rest of their lives togethor. Just because we nay lack sicial skills and friendships, diesnt exclude us from finding a romantic partner or companion.
Hopefully one day we will find it if thats what we want x
Thank you, you summed it up exactly.