Published on 12, July, 2020
I, a 30 something male, have occasional longings for romantic connections. It's so stupid, I have never had friends let alone a girlfriend, and I know it's a lifelong endeavour of self development and discovery.
It is usually triggered by seeing couples walk along the street holding hands or hugging and being bombarded by media no matter how much I avoid it. It has also been a catalyst for my depression which I have since controlled with medication.
It's wrong of me to think about such things when I lack even the most basic friendship and socialising skills which come naturally to most people. I feel like I don't deserve to think about romantic love and I'm putting the cart before the horse. I'm usually content enough when I'm busy with my hobbies and errands.
To be clear, I have ASD Level 1, I have little sexual interest at most and I am always respectful of people. Also I decided long ago to never marry or have children.
Most advice says to quash those troublesome feelings and mind my own business, more so as a guy who is expected to be strong and free of weakness.
A lot of online advice falls back on cynicism and self help clichés, like I should love myself or that autistic men are undateable, etc.
You can't help what You feel, even when it sure feels real.It sounds as though You are grieving for the expectations that You have longed for.
I guess I am grieving for the things I missed out on in my youth.
Do You think that this is where fantasy collides with reality ?I know it has happened to Myself many times.
sorry, i meant must.
There is nothing wrong with desire.Obtaining it sounds to Me where You struggle.As other " posts " will state, self confidence is the Key.You nust make Yourself Happy before it is possible to make somebody else Happy.
I don't know to be honest.