More obsessed with special interests/hobbies than my girlfriend

Hi

Anyone else have this problem? Or where your partner has this issue with you? I'm in my first serious relationship with a Polish girl, and therefore it's a long distance relationship. I've been to stay at her's twice now. She can be a bit 'needy' and craves touches and physical interaction. And going so far as wanting me to be jealous if someone else starts talking to her. Being 37 now (she's 29) and being diagnosed with autism back in 2017, I find all that are bit perplexing and childish? I'm not one for being jealous. And consider myself more of a realist. I know there's no danger of her being 'stolen' by anyone else. There's a guy who keeps professing his love for her and sends her messages every month or two. He's a bit obsessive. But he lives all the way in Australia and doesn't know where she lives anyway. And therefore, I'm not too concerned. It sounds like the guy needs to get over it and get some help, but I certainly don't feel jealous.

I also feel like I have more of a stronger attachment to my hobbies/passions and personal possessions than I do my girlfriend, which sounds bad. Sweat smile I also find it difficult to get attached to people now. In part because of being hurt and let down so often. Therefore find it difficult to be 'lovey-dovey'. It's just not me. And I show my love and affection in other ways, such as buying gifts etc. We kiss and cuddle, so that's never a problem either. I just feel as though I'm emotionally blind. I don't have those feelings of 'love' like I did once before. Last time was when I was 16. And that was to the point of being lovesick.

Anyone else have the same problem in their relationship?

Thanks

Parents
  • A wee wisdom to the wise: The last chap who called me 'needy' is now an x. 

    Learning to be vulnerable and kind, respectful and to choose to act in ways in which the Other feels loved is the key to building something which lasts. This is not for the faint of heart. There will be times to be responsible toward the other, and it matters especially when we don't 'feel' like it. It takes effort. 

    I'd highly recommend finding a copy of Erich Fromm's Art Of Loving. (if not just the excellent advice from )

Reply
  • A wee wisdom to the wise: The last chap who called me 'needy' is now an x. 

    Learning to be vulnerable and kind, respectful and to choose to act in ways in which the Other feels loved is the key to building something which lasts. This is not for the faint of heart. There will be times to be responsible toward the other, and it matters especially when we don't 'feel' like it. It takes effort. 

    I'd highly recommend finding a copy of Erich Fromm's Art Of Loving. (if not just the excellent advice from )

Children
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