Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
Anyone else have this problem? Or where your partner has this issue with you? I'm in my first serious relationship with a Polish girl, and therefore it's a long distance relationship. I've been to stay at her's twice now. She can be a bit 'needy' and craves touches and physical interaction. And going so far as wanting me to be jealous if someone else starts talking to her. Being 37 now (she's 29) and being diagnosed with autism back in 2017, I find all that are bit perplexing and childish? I'm not one for being jealous. And consider myself more of a realist. I know there's no danger of her being 'stolen' by anyone else. There's a guy who keeps professing his love for her and sends her messages every month or two. He's a bit obsessive. But he lives all the way in Australia and doesn't know where she lives anyway. And therefore, I'm not too concerned. It sounds like the guy needs to get over it and get some help, but I certainly don't feel jealous.
I also feel like I have more of a stronger attachment to my hobbies/passions and personal possessions than I do my girlfriend, which sounds bad. I also find it difficult to get attached to people now. In part because of being hurt and let down so often. Therefore find it difficult to be 'lovey-dovey'. It's just not me. And I show my love and affection in other ways, such as buying gifts etc. We kiss and cuddle, so that's never a problem either. I just feel as though I'm emotionally blind. I don't have those feelings of 'love' like I did once before. Last time was when I was 16. And that was to the point of being lovesick.
Anyone else have the same problem in their relationship?
Thanks
I also am more interested in my projects than in other people and cultivating relations with them. Mind, I like having people in my life but I seem to gravitate to introverts, other autistic people, other creatives and those who have no problem with autonomy, or who share my interests.
I love having friends and we have exchanges about our projects and things we are stoked about. Partners are always more problematic and I have been quick to snip ties when someone has no interests of their own. It feel more natural for me, having friends and everyone having their own life and coming together now and then.
I did try when i was younger, till I realized that when I did have partners I was always fantasizing that I was alone to get on with my own interests or with friends who shared them. I am also pretty ambivalent about sex and partners often want that as a major part of relating. I enjoy hugs at greetings and partings or at moments that seem fitting.