Published on 12, July, 2020
I dated an autistic guy in February this year since then we have been talking, i really like him, I've told him how i feel, and I want a relationship, but he is struggling after losing his job 3 months ago and wont commit to seeing me again. He's recently opened up to me and said he struggles to fit in, he has nothing to bring to a relationship, his life is complicated and he is struggling. He has no friends, and no girlfriend for 10 years, I am doubtful if he's ever had a girlfriend and i am not sure if this is another reason he wont date me again as he has no confidence in himself. I keep getting frustrated with the situation, it's affecting him and he gets down. he's told me he likes me but cannot tell me how he feels when i ask him. He can easily walk away with no emotions, and i get upset. Clearly he's not interested in a relationship but enjoys my company i feel maybe i am comforting him as he also said he's lonely. He longs for something meaningful but cannot see the bigger picture. We met on a dating site so I am hoping he's just going through a hard time. I keep telling myself to be patient and he will change and want to see me. I would like some advice what to do with the situation as I am not autistic.
It may turn into codependency, be careful and know when you are close to emotional burnout.
tbh I am already emotionally tired I am fighting a battle i cannot win. I need to consider walking away
he certainly is, he seems to be struggling more now the longer he is in this situation. I feel sometimes i might say something that can trigger his depression, it can be anything, he then becomes distant. He would never admit to it. I have been trying to help him build his confidence i hope it has helped then it might give him false hope. Its really difficult i get very upset, i care about him a lot i don't know what to do for the best.
I know it's difficult, but from what you say he seems deeply troubled and unable to sustain a romantic relationship.
I'm pleased to help.
He was OK when we first met, now he's not interested in life in general, and i just don't understand him, i keep thinking he's interested but maybe he has alternative motives to our friendship. Thank you, it is also difficult to walk away from this type of situation
Think about your wellbeing and health first. Autistic guys, especially with difficulties can be stuck in self destructive patterns of frustration and self loathing, latching onto anything or anyone who gives us the least bit of stability.
Sometimes walking away is the best option.
I hope this helps and I wish you good luck!