Published on 12, July, 2020
I was in a checkout queue and the man in front of me bought £85 of toilet rolls, WTF?
It's obvious when you think about it. The guy must be a secret masticator and arbalest maker!
A quick trip around any school will find a room somewhere (usually in the mathematics deparment if I remember correctly) where the ceiling is adorned with semi conical blobs of papier mache affixed to the ceiling tiles.
Your man clearly has grander ambitions...
Now I'm just "spitballing" here, but I can see him rushing back to the school (where he is a mathematics & woodwork teacher), to some 85 students (he teaches two classes of maths with about 43 students in each, but billy doesn't like maths so he didn't turn up with a quid in hs pocket that day..) and the representative from The guiness book of records...
What puzzles me is why he had not also bought 85 backs of opal fruits? (That's "starburst" for you young-uns, Starburst being the naff name they gave to Opal Fruits (made to make your mouth water) that were a vital part of my own record breaking personal mathematics Mock O'level score, which I believe has yet to be beaten. (After careful marking, I was awarded a rather outstanding 2%)
I went to grammar school, so our mathematics mastications were merely the adhesive tip of increasingly ornate missiles. Even the basic tubes looked quite impressive when there was a lot of them concetrated on one tile...
And woodwork lessons were of course always really about teachng the rudiments of the manufacture of weapons.
oh oh and the straws, don't forget the straws!