Published on 12, July, 2020
I was in a checkout queue and the man in front of me bought £85 of toilet rolls, WTF?
The Age of Stupid.
What are you serious must have very bad diarrhoea lol
Urghh Masks, runaway runaway, the monsters are coming!! Sorry masks, puppets, marrionettes and dolls really freak me out. Like if a clown tapped me on the shoulder I'd probably punch it in the face!
Sorry still don't get it
oh oh and the straws, don't forget the straws!
thank you.
hence the word "new"
And/Or - he's a driven creative recluse and would love it if people would just leave him be to make his Elmers glue & tissue paper masks in peace and go find something more positive to do with their verbosity.
There will be a huge retrospective at MOMA after this mysterious figure's death which will include a short video, running on a loop. In it two locals, who lived nearby, reminisce of their experiences of him; a store clerk, who will say he was a sweet, quiet old man who always slipped her a small tip, and that she always knew there was something special about him. Then another local will appear who will say simply "WTF".
Sorry I don't understand verb conjugation present rhetorical?
Artists! wad-a-ya-gonna-do.
(new verb conjugation: present rhetorical.)
It's obvious when you think about it. The guy must be a secret masticator and arbalest maker!
A quick trip around any school will find a room somewhere (usually in the mathematics deparment if I remember correctly) where the ceiling is adorned with semi conical blobs of papier mache affixed to the ceiling tiles.
Your man clearly has grander ambitions...
Now I'm just "spitballing" here, but I can see him rushing back to the school (where he is a mathematics & woodwork teacher), to some 85 students (he teaches two classes of maths with about 43 students in each, but billy doesn't like maths so he didn't turn up with a quid in hs pocket that day..) and the representative from The guiness book of records...
What puzzles me is why he had not also bought 85 backs of opal fruits? (That's "starburst" for you young-uns, Starburst being the naff name they gave to Opal Fruits (made to make your mouth water) that were a vital part of my own record breaking personal mathematics Mock O'level score, which I believe has yet to be beaten. (After careful marking, I was awarded a rather outstanding 2%)
I went to grammar school, so our mathematics mastications were merely the adhesive tip of increasingly ornate missiles. Even the basic tubes looked quite impressive when there was a lot of them concetrated on one tile...
And woodwork lessons were of course always really about teachng the rudiments of the manufacture of weapons.
Ian said:Come on, people ... get creative!
Build a fort!
Big enough to hide in, squishy enough not to hurt if you hit the walls, soft enough to touch and it feels nice, dense enough to absobe noise and when you are finished still has a practical use that prevents you needing to shop for them for a few years.
He's preparing for another pandemic.
Hush now, let him do his own thing. He may be setting up a museum of them. A collection, even.
Maybe he was a small shop owner and the supermarket price was cheaper than his wholesaler due to economies of scale.
Maybe he ran a Portaloo hire company.
This would be a good test of lateral thinking ... how could you use 300 toilet rolls?
(a) put each roll in an empty coffee can, add kerosene and use to make runway marker flares for an improvised night-time airstrip.
(b) "mummify" all the kids in a nursery school as part of a weird project about ancient Egypt
(c) mop up a large oil spill
Come on, people ... get creative!
Maybe his family had a dodgy lamb bhuna down The Star of Bengal last night.