Nvm

PlushRat said:

How do you handle your meltdowns?

I'm lucky in that I can control my mind in the run up to this and get almost military in discipline to avoid it - not something I can explain easily to others.

However, in your situation here I would write to the people who were in the car with you and apologise, explain that you are autistic and the issue of the evening led you to have a meltdown which is very uncharacteristic of you.

Ask for their forgiveness and understanding and say you are working on ways to communicate better when approaching this rare state.

This is about all you can do - but as soon as your energy levels allow get back out and mixing as normally as you can. There will be some embarrasment but getting them to understand you as well as spreading understanding of autism is a real positive.

On a personal development side - get better at preparing. Get a battery pack to charge your phone and keep it with you. Same for stim toys - keep a spare in your handbag along with the battery/cable. Charge it every Thursday to make sure it is up for a weekends worth of power and you may even save a friend who has a flat phone battery.

Also make sure at least someone in your group knows about autism enough to handle your meltdown and manage the others - if at all possible. Maybe carry a card with a high level overview on you, especially with notes on how to interact with you and an emergency contact to come get you.

PlushRat said:

I feel like a monster or a beast sometimes with this mental plague

You are not. I know a few people who I would say are really monsters and your meltdown is not in this league. It is something a LOT of people get from time to time and the sooner we can de-demonise it the better.

Explain it to your friends, maybe even make a light hearted joke about it and it should be less scary for them to witness if it happens again. Then again you will be prepared next time so that won't happen.

Thank you for the insight and advice. I'll talk to my care giver about the stimergency bag, great plan to have. My main issue is social situation rumination and I tend to make the events seem worse in my head. You're right that I should explain more properly, maybe an apology letter would be a kind way to also express how I was feeling. My husband had a talk with those friends already but we both decided I shouldn't be around them for a while since it'll renew the anxiety for me. Appreciate your time in writing to me, these tips could helps others too!

Thank you for the insight and advice. I'll talk to my care giver about the stimergency bag, great plan to have. My main issue is social situation rumination and I tend to make the events seem worse in my head. You're right that I should explain more properly, maybe an apology letter would be a kind way to also express how I was feeling. My husband had a talk with those friends already but we both decided I shouldn't be around them for a while since it'll renew the anxiety for me. Appreciate your time in writing to me, these tips could helps others too!

If you can afford it I would also recommend getting a therapist with a specialism in autism to help you with the social anxiety.

There are quite a few techniques (including mindfulness) to help you deal with the situation rumination - hopefully one of these can help.

Variations on these techniques also help with handling the situations in real time too but often just getting out for some fresh air for a few minutes can help lower the anxiety and prepare you for the rest of the session.

Knowing your limits is also useful and where you know you will be overloaded (eg the prom night celebrants) then knowing when to bow out and head home can save you from a bad situation.