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An interesting book for Autistic adults...

Pixiefox
4 months ago

I've just finished reading "How to handle Neurotypicals" by Abel Abelson. I found it very interesting.

It explains how we we project our own self-image, or the ideas we have about ourselves, on other people, believing they have the same characteristics we presume we have, but advised that we shouldn't assume that another person is basically or fundamentally the same as us. We should start from thinking they are completely different, while gradually finding convergent points if there are any.

It also touches on the problem we have all had of trying to take off masks and find our true self, which gives rise to a problem in recognising other autistic people: "You might have been so busy overadapting and mimicking neurotypical behavior, and the same may be true for those other people like you, that it has become almost impossible to mutually recognize each other as actually similar beings. You may have been together at the same party, both thoroughly hating every aspect of it, and both so successfully mimicking joy and integration, that you didn’t even recognize each other’s similarities."

It also explains that it's futile expecting other people to change, or trying to change them ourselves, but that we can survive better by finding our own solutions to problems.

I would highly  recommend this book to Autistic adults.

Parents
  • 4 months ago
    Pixiefox said:

    It explains how we we project our own self-image, or the ideas we have about ourselves, on other people, believing they have the same characteristics we presume we have, but advised that we shouldn't assume that another person is basically or fundamentally the same as us. We should start from thinking they are completely different, while gradually finding convergent points if there are any.

    I found that neurotypicals do the same - they have looked at my behaviour and projected their own self image and come up with the wrong answer but won't allow me to challenge their assessment. Maybe we have more in common than we thought?

Reply
  • 4 months ago
    Pixiefox said:

    It explains how we we project our own self-image, or the ideas we have about ourselves, on other people, believing they have the same characteristics we presume we have, but advised that we shouldn't assume that another person is basically or fundamentally the same as us. We should start from thinking they are completely different, while gradually finding convergent points if there are any.

    I found that neurotypicals do the same - they have looked at my behaviour and projected their own self image and come up with the wrong answer but won't allow me to challenge their assessment. Maybe we have more in common than we thought?

Children