Published on 12, July, 2020
I've been taking driving lessons for nearly 2 years now. From an outside point of view I'm a good driver with a few clearance issues, my instructor even says I'm test ready. What people don't see is the near paralysing fear I feel every time I get in the car. I'm so safe because I'm terrified. I've gotten pretty good at hiding how I feel, unless it gets too stressful and then I cry, but my instructor only really sees that fear and frustration maybe once a month. I'm also good because my instructor takes me on the same route every time, if it isn't that route then its another I've done before, but the test examiner could take me on a different route so any skill I have will go out the window if I get taken on a different route.
I'm considering stopping my lessons. I've spent way way too much money on it for the past 2 years and the fear hasn't gone away. It's unpredictable, scary, hard to read because there's some sort of unspoken road language, there's so much stuff to manage all at once, I honestly hate it. I got pushed into doing it and feel like I'll let people down and be a burden on my parents if I can't drive myself places. I dont wanna do that but it seems more and more likely after every lesson that that will happen. I'm wondering if continuing is even worth the time, money and effort anymore.
Anyone have any opinions or advice? How do yall find driving?
I only learnt to drive a few years ago in my late 30s, and I am so glad I did. The freedom and independence it gives me is great, and I always struggled with public transport. And one of my hobbies is to go hiking and explore nature, and the ability to drive literally anywhere, even remote places on tiny country roads is so freeing. It also allowed me to move somewhere without good public transport, instead of being stuck in the city.
What is the reason for you learning to drive? Don't do it just because someone told you that you need to. If you don't need or want to drive then it'll never be something you want to do. You should have a desire to do it.
I am also a cautious and nervous driver (still). I am totally fine with driving on familiar routes, but struggle when driving to somewhere new. Even with the satnav, I find the amount of information over-stimulating, but it doesn't lead to me being dangerous, I just sometimes come off at the wrong turning of a roundabout or come off too early/late on a motorway.
Back when I lived in the city I hardly ever drove, so was fearful about it. And I found the city junctions and roundabouts intimidating and confusing. It made me very panicky coming up to a big multi-lane roundabout. Where I live now I have to drive, which means I've got used to it. I quite enjoy it now. The roads are quieter here and mostly consist of single lane 30mph roads or 60mph roads over the hills.
When I was passing my test, my instructor had me practice all of the possible routes, so that I wouldn't be caught out in an unknown situation. I previously had lessons in my early 20s which I abandoned, so I totally understand why you might want to give up. You can always come back later and get more lessons if you want to try again. It's not a now or never situation.