Driving as an autistic person. Advice?

I've been taking driving lessons for nearly 2 years now. From an outside point of view I'm a good driver with a few clearance issues, my instructor even says I'm test ready. What people don't see is the near paralysing fear I feel every time I get in the car. I'm so safe because I'm terrified. I've gotten pretty good at hiding how I feel, unless it gets too stressful and then I cry, but my instructor only really sees that fear and frustration maybe once a month. I'm also good because my instructor takes me on the same route every time, if it isn't that route then its another I've done before, but the test examiner could take me on a different route so any skill I have will go out the window if I get taken on a different route.

I'm considering stopping my lessons. I've spent way way too much money on it for the past 2 years and the fear hasn't gone away. It's unpredictable, scary, hard to read because there's some sort of unspoken road language, there's so much stuff to manage all at once, I honestly hate it. I got pushed into doing it and feel like I'll let people down and be a burden on my parents if I can't drive myself places. I dont wanna do that but it seems more and more likely after every lesson that that will happen. I'm wondering if continuing is even worth the time, money and effort anymore.

Anyone have any opinions or advice? How do yall find driving?