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Relationship with an autistic guy

NAS93820
1 month ago

Hi

I’m in a relationship with an autistic male and recently I’ve had difficulties understanding his behavior. Unfortunately we don’t live in the same place so we cannot see each other often but we chat. However up until 4 days ago he’s been very present and nice. Now he’s ignoring me. He sends me his good morning and then nothing else. He doesn’t even read my messages. I’ve asked him if he still likes me and he has always said yes. I really like him and I told him. I have asked if I had done something wrong and his answer was I need to sleep.

I’m very stressed and said about this. I’m trying to give him space but I need to know if I’m the problem. I’d like to let him know I’m still here for him, but I don’t know how to convey that.

I’ve reading a lot about autism so I can try to understand his mind a little bit.

I know that there’s a chance his not fine at the moment but I also know that he was interacting in other social media and again not sure what to make of it.

I’m really desperate for help now.

Thanks and sorry for the venting moment but I feel very alone on this right now

Parents
  • 1 month ago

    I'm afraid that, unlike neurotypicals, many autistic people do not feel the need to constantly maintain and reinforce relationships. Once they are formed, autistic people tend to view relationships as unchanging, they 'just are'. This is a prominent difference between neurotypicals and autists. Autists also need a lot of alone time and can get exhausted by socialising. 

    Autistic people are also notoriously poor at social 'chit-chat', either in person or by other means of communication. When my future wife was living about 200 miles away, I found it very difficult to find things to talk about on our weekly phone calls. We met up twice a month and that was much better for me, the pressure of being on the phone or having to message can inhibit expression.

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  • 1 month ago

    I'm afraid that, unlike neurotypicals, many autistic people do not feel the need to constantly maintain and reinforce relationships. Once they are formed, autistic people tend to view relationships as unchanging, they 'just are'. This is a prominent difference between neurotypicals and autists. Autists also need a lot of alone time and can get exhausted by socialising. 

    Autistic people are also notoriously poor at social 'chit-chat', either in person or by other means of communication. When my future wife was living about 200 miles away, I found it very difficult to find things to talk about on our weekly phone calls. We met up twice a month and that was much better for me, the pressure of being on the phone or having to message can inhibit expression.

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