Published on 12, July, 2020
I spent so much time playing video games, browsing the internet and watching TV and videos and DVDs. Hey, those of you sniggering! I did grow up in the nineties.
There's nothing wrong with any of them, in an of them themselves, but the issue with all of them is you can easily become addicted to them and I did. I wish I would have read more books and learned more things instead of spending so much time having fun.
Now I'm 37 I would have rather have spent my time learning the guitar or learning things from books, that information or skill would be very useful at this stage. The memories of fun I had with the games, the TV and the internet are almost like vapour that has vanished to nothing. They almost mean nothing anymore but I can still remember facts I learned years ago that serve me in good stead today and the little bits I did manage to learn on the guitar mean I can play better than someone who hasn't learned at all.
I also regret that I ate so unhealthily. I don't blame myself for the activities or the eating. I believe at lot of it was peer pressure, ignorance and lax parenting. I don't blame my parents either, both had come from poverty and were despite being quite intelligent like many parents at the time not at all aware of Autism or the challenges that would be posed by modern technology.
The eating I regret because I didn't develop my body as much as I could have. I ate too many processed foods like cheap sausages, Billy Bear luncheon meat, biscutis and cream crackers and hardly touched vegetables or whole cuts of meat or fish or legumes or wholegrains. Most men are taller than me, I didn't have the best fuel for building muscle and developing growth.
It's useless to feel bitter about it though. I only hope others can learn from my mistakes.
I am 50. Everyone is different when it comes to their calling and definition of what has value in this life, and that changes over time. But like the law, it is subject to time, location and circumstances.
I did spend the whole 80s and the 90s in the house with Atari, Commodore, Amiga, Playstation and endless handheld games and guess what... now I have XBOx and a monster PC and do the same. And I go to all the worlds where nobody can judge me, and I can be ME.
I have been a Cowboy, a Division agent, a sniper, a samurai, a Truck driver, a Criminal Enterprise Boss, I drive ridiculously expensive cars, fly military aircrafts, own Yachts, helicopters, chase criminals through blizzards on mountains, only recently I traveled through the whole Milky way in the speed of light, and met the Creator of the worlds, and I hear a giant procedural planet will be available for me to explore for a long long time, in the next months.
And guys, I can tell you, there is very little to make difference with the real world out there, except one thing, I am SO uncomfortable with real life.
Yes, I also sometimes think, that I could have done this or the other thing, and I see people of my age under the light of success, money, big office, big house, VIP at their XMass parties, but quite frankly, we are the same to all we did in this life, because the test is this:
Did you have fun?
If yes, keep "Fun-ning" if not, its never too late to pick up a book, write one, publish one, sell one, make a movie out of it, or go and do ANYTHING you want, thats FUN.
But regrets, you are free to have it, but I would advise against anything that requires a time machine to change. If you did it, its done. What comes next is not affected by the past. The Wake doesn't drive the boat (as my beloved Dr Wayne Dyer said).
No matter how old your are (or think you are) this is the ONLY confirmation you need that it is not too late to do what you really want: If you still breathe, you can!
Just wanted to say what a brilliant post. Very encouraging.