Published on 12, July, 2020
I spent so much time playing video games, browsing the internet and watching TV and videos and DVDs. Hey, those of you sniggering! I did grow up in the nineties.
There's nothing wrong with any of them, in an of them themselves, but the issue with all of them is you can easily become addicted to them and I did. I wish I would have read more books and learned more things instead of spending so much time having fun.
Now I'm 37 I would have rather have spent my time learning the guitar or learning things from books, that information or skill would be very useful at this stage. The memories of fun I had with the games, the TV and the internet are almost like vapour that has vanished to nothing. They almost mean nothing anymore but I can still remember facts I learned years ago that serve me in good stead today and the little bits I did manage to learn on the guitar mean I can play better than someone who hasn't learned at all.
I also regret that I ate so unhealthily. I don't blame myself for the activities or the eating. I believe at lot of it was peer pressure, ignorance and lax parenting. I don't blame my parents either, both had come from poverty and were despite being quite intelligent like many parents at the time not at all aware of Autism or the challenges that would be posed by modern technology.
The eating I regret because I didn't develop my body as much as I could have. I ate too many processed foods like cheap sausages, Billy Bear luncheon meat, biscutis and cream crackers and hardly touched vegetables or whole cuts of meat or fish or legumes or wholegrains. Most men are taller than me, I didn't have the best fuel for building muscle and developing growth.
It's useless to feel bitter about it though. I only hope others can learn from my mistakes.
I'm a left handed musician, I don't know why but it's one of the things I naturally want to with my left hand, I found the finger placement diagrams confusing when I had to turn them upside down.
I think music is a bit like art, if you're one of those who can you find it really difficult to understand those of us who can't. I did used to be able to sing, I'm told I had an operatic range, I didn't discover this until near the point when I lost my singing voice. Music was never something encouraged, least of all singing, I was amazed when I learnt that singing lessons existed, I sort of thought you just opened your mouth and did it. My school didn't have a choir or anything like that and my family wern't church goers, so I was never exposed to anyone who could of helped me develop my voice or encourage me. Later as a teenager and young woman when friends were getting into bands, I was never pretty enough to be the lead guitarists girlfriend which seemed the only way for a girl to get in a band.
It's not all bad news though, I do have skills, I can cook really well and I'm quite a good historian.
TheCatWoman said:I didn't go to uni until I was 42.
Same here, I went to Uni at 45. Once, I went early in the class, we had a one off seminar with a guest tutor, and the tutor came, saw me, left and after few he came back. He said he thought I was another tutor and he messed up the rooms. Yeah... well, not the Box Fresh student you would expect, but I did it, and it was absolutely a rewarding experience on so many levels.
37 and thinking you are old, is what you will regret when you get 50 in 5 years. And no, I am not bad adding numbers, life has a bizarre way to alter time and speed things up until its too late for you to do anything about it.
If you think 37 is old and you figured out how crap this life is. Prepare yourself for 50. You have no idea whats coming. I was told this when I was 30. The man was right.
I did the Primal diet for about 3 and a half years and loved it. That was pretty low carbs but I found for me who needs around 3500 cals a day wasn’t enough. I started to get very dizzy and feel unwell so had to up my carb intake. Basically I did the Primal but tweaked it a bit.
Just wanted to say what a brilliant post. Very encouraging.
Hi Roswell
Dont regret that. Whatever you did back then was the right thing for you to do at that time. I believe we always look for ways to manage and that may have been what got you to this point. You sound like you are clued up nutritionally now and it’s never too late to pick up a book and carry on with the guitar. I am 49 and still feel young although obviously I’m not. 37 is a great age and still plenty young enough to really start looking after yourself. I loved video games as a kid and still do, my dad used to tell me I had a problem with them but I was obsessed and enjoyed them so much, they helped me to escape for a while without overthinking and feeling anxious.
Try not to regret and give yourself a pat on the back for finding a way round potential struggles.
Thats real life survival stuff right there!
Take care
+1 I agree, basic rhythm is really very easy, just shapes that move around the fretboard. The notes are not that hard to learn all over the fretboard , the two edges are practically the same open notes, with minimal effort and few patterns in mind you get that done within days.
I find rhythm very entertaining and I can say, therapeutic, and yes, it comes natural to discover strumming patterns. All guitar lessons start from strumming, and some piano courses rely on that principle as well.
I play Flamenco guitar Rumba and Solea and love fingerpicking on Classical guitar. Its just so rewarding to see your hands learning a song and never forgetting it even after considerable inactivity.
And yes, dont look at those who are pros or even some kids on youtube who play like Slash, they all started from zero, not even able to play the easiest chord progressions. Its a trap, an excuse to be discouraged by that, like saying you wont buy a nice convertible to go for smooth rides because you watched Lewis Hamilton driving in F1.
If you do the basic few lessons about posture, finger placement and strumming basics, in 2 weeks you will be what you now think is just not possible, so much so you wont even bother the neighbours hear you practise.
I can't read music - but to play rhythm guitar you don't need to be able to do that. My guitar tutor book had fretboard diagrams, which are basically a picture showing you where to put your fingers to play a chord. I did need to understand timings, but I somehow "got" that naturally. I watched other people play too, and practised until my fingertips were sore. I always had an "ear" for music - I could pick out a tune on a piano from an early age, and soon learned to tune my guitar by ear. Funnily enough, after I learned to play I did it for a few years and then got a bit bored with it. When I tried music creation in my 20s it was using a keyboard, synthesizer and sampler.
We're all different - I certainly cannot sing like Susan Boyle, nor do I have the engineering aptitude of Temple Grandin or the acting skills of Daryl Hannah. But life isn't a test of how good we can be at something - I believe it's an experience in which the challenge is to be as content as we can be.
I grew up in the 70s and did not have a computer or learn to use one until much later in work. You probably have a skill with computers that some of us older people would love to have. There are so many things we have to do now that rely on us using technology.
In respect of the guitar I learnt a bit when I was younger and used to find when I lived alone it was a relaxing pastime just for my own enjoyment. Then I had lessons for a while and my tutor asked if I was interested in an evening class which he ran at our local college. If this is something you might enjoy and you get the opportunity it was an enjoyable period in my life.
I hope you are able to find enjoyment again in something.
How did you teach yourself to play guitar? It seems something totally beyond my comprehension, it's like when people say they taught themselves to read! Even with a book I found learning music to much, I just didn't understand it, but I've sinse realised that I don't have a musical bone in my body, I'm a rhythm free zone, I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, let alone beat a drum or a triangle in time.
I gave up should and ought a few years ago and I can honestly say I'm much better of for not having them in my life.
Regret is pointless, and you're still young. You can't turn back time, but you can decide what you want to do with your time now. Your diet sounds really healthy - well done on changing that.
I'm in my sixties now, and I've changed a lot over the years. I taught myself to play guitar at the age of 11, using a guitar tutor book to learn the chords. In my teens I liked to go out to gigs or the cinema. In my 20s I dabbled with artistic pursuits - writing, art and music creation. In my 30s I trained as a special needs teaching assistant, then a few years later I changed roles and got an accounting qualification. In my 40s I travelled abroad, did some Open University courses, and just before I turned 50 I trained as a Teacher of English as a foreign language, although the teaching didn't work out and I had to return to accounting.
A few years later I experienced burnout, discovered I was autistic and had to decrease my working hours. Now, in my sixties, I'm a bit like you were in your youth - I love to play video games, read novels and research stuff on the internet. One of my favourite foods is a thin & crispy pizza (although I do have some salad with it, but I do actually like salad!) My life is as good, if not better, than its ever been. I do what I enjoy now, without worrying about if it's what I "should" be doing. Enjoy life as much as you can.
Any activity in the world that's required to file a tax report, will be as you said it. Unfortunately creativity has become the new ground to fish for naive, dreamers, and use them as meat, rather sparks of imagination. Hence the originals, the genuine ones, may get success but then retreat to low key performances and a rather more elegant audience. No money, but more value. All that of course,, assuming you will be an industrial whore for a good while and wake up or pretend to be a potato head and live the rest of your time on idle creativity, in fact copying your own self or playing the same songs that made you till the inevitable, natural, end.
I've learned how to play the guitar very well and I came to find out that the whole music industry is full of theft, plagiarism and generally abhorrent practices. If that was your objective, then take it from me: it's not what it's cracked up to be - at all.
I am 50. Everyone is different when it comes to their calling and definition of what has value in this life, and that changes over time. But like the law, it is subject to time, location and circumstances.
I did spend the whole 80s and the 90s in the house with Atari, Commodore, Amiga, Playstation and endless handheld games and guess what... now I have XBOx and a monster PC and do the same. And I go to all the worlds where nobody can judge me, and I can be ME.
I have been a Cowboy, a Division agent, a sniper, a samurai, a Truck driver, a Criminal Enterprise Boss, I drive ridiculously expensive cars, fly military aircrafts, own Yachts, helicopters, chase criminals through blizzards on mountains, only recently I traveled through the whole Milky way in the speed of light, and met the Creator of the worlds, and I hear a giant procedural planet will be available for me to explore for a long long time, in the next months.
And guys, I can tell you, there is very little to make difference with the real world out there, except one thing, I am SO uncomfortable with real life.
Yes, I also sometimes think, that I could have done this or the other thing, and I see people of my age under the light of success, money, big office, big house, VIP at their XMass parties, but quite frankly, we are the same to all we did in this life, because the test is this:
Did you have fun?
If yes, keep "Fun-ning" if not, its never too late to pick up a book, write one, publish one, sell one, make a movie out of it, or go and do ANYTHING you want, thats FUN.
But regrets, you are free to have it, but I would advise against anything that requires a time machine to change. If you did it, its done. What comes next is not affected by the past. The Wake doesn't drive the boat (as my beloved Dr Wayne Dyer said).
No matter how old your are (or think you are) this is the ONLY confirmation you need that it is not too late to do what you really want: If you still breathe, you can!
I'm 60 now. I didn't start writing until I was 56. I've had a bunch of pieces published.
Thats the thing with youth, its wasted on the young!
Seriously though, you're not to old to do new things, at 37 you're still young and have years ahead of you, good years. I didn't go to uni until I was 42.
There were probably lots of reasons why you wern't in the right place to be doing things like learning guitar, don't beat yourself up.
Yeah it would be good to learn the basic tabs, and to coordinate your fingers into the right positions, until you understand the pattern. I tried playing the ukulele as a kid, but learning the tabs were too difficult at the time, and I didn't understand enough about what I was doing to see the bigger picture.
I learned the basics of playing the piano from a college friend, but the sound of piano doesn't really resonate with me. I'm still trying to look for an instrument that I don't mind listening to and practicing.
Your diet sounds very good and healthy. I've cut out a few things from my diet that were generally not making me feel well. I enjoy food, but I lose track of time, and prioritize other things, and it's just a bad habit that I'm always trying to improve on.
I think back to why maximizing on potential for a young person is so difficult, and I think it's just hard to handle the social aspects of it. It's hard to work on something to be the best at it, only to find that others disapprove of it, are angry at you for showing off, or are are envious or jealous of your success, and they'll try to to pull you down to prevent you from continuing, or harm you because they think you're trying to slight them somehow by being good at something. It's hard to take the negativity that comes from people like this. And it's often intimidated me to show how much I know, considering I've been abused by people like this.
But then if people do not do what they're good at, no progress will be made for humanity, no amazing innovations, music, or anything will be made, all held back by people. But hopefully progress continues to be made for humanity, and people don't get held back from maximizing on their potential in life.
I have changed quite a lot. I'm not sure how able to I am to learn the guitar but I'm going to start trying to from today using a magazine I bought. I'm going to try to learn how to read and play along with tab.I had contacted a teacher who lives nearby that my social worker knows and recommended but he was fully booked. He said he might be able to reararnge one of his students' appointment time to fit me in, however he hasn't contacted me back yet and I felt it might be pushy to get back in touch myself.
At the moment I eat a keto diet. I have lots of vegetables, avoid sugar and eat whole meats like beef and lamb. I'm in exceptionally good shape appearence-wise but still have physical problems brought on, probably, by eating junk food to excess when I was younger.
I'm not sure keto is that healthy for me so am considering any day now switching onto a low carb diet instead which would allow me up to around 100 grams of carbohydrates a day. I would probably have wild rice, about 50 grams of it per meal, for two meals a day, the other meal I would keep largely free of carbs.
Over the past week I read and finished Resurrection, a novel by Tolstoy that is one of the best things I've ever experienced. I find it easier though to read books or research online than to do practical things, that is where I want to focus my attention and energy now.
I maintain, though, the message to younger people that in your youth you have a uniquely fresh opportunity to maximise your potential, this is before bad habits can wreak lifelong health impacts or set in place habits that are harder to break as you age.
You can learn skills at any age. There's even been middle-aged and elderly people who started lifting weights and enjoy doing that as a hobby. I guess you're up for changing something about your life. If you are still alive, then you could still do something about your situation. I mean, yes you might have made decisions that don't add much to your future, but other people have done that as well. They might be scrolling through social media and not paying any attention to how often they are ignoring everything. But you finally are paying attention to yourself. Learn a skill, change your diet, you can do it.