Published on 12, July, 2020
School was a long time ago for me, almost 50 years, so autism wasn't "invented" then, of course people including me had it, it just wasn't recognised, we were "a bit slow", or the dreaded "could do better". I'm dyslexic too, another thing that wasn't recognised then, I found out at the age of 42 that about 60% of the dyslexia was caused by and astigmatism and was given the right glasses and could read the word little for the first time. I lose thin letters between fat one and to many uprights as in little are just a blur, if any of you have children who you think might be dyslexic, get them a proper eye test it could save years of hassle.
But thats sort of besides the point, I hated school, I didn't understand what was expected of me, all the other children knew each other. I'd never played with more than one child before school and was totally unprepared for the sheer amount of noise a class full of 5 year olds could make, I think I had a headache for the first couple of years. I was often classed as selfish because I didn't know how to share, never having had a need to before. I used to sit and watch other children and spent lots of time on my own, I didn't meet other children outside of school until I was about 8 or 9. I often wonder how much of this was autism and how much of it was social or circumstancial? I managed to survive primary school, but secondary school nearly finished me off, I used to truant regularly, I think I was a school refuser but nobody used that term then, you were just bad. I was bullied more or less constantly, maths was a nightmare I felt trapped in unable to wake up from, I was always in trouble for being "stupid", because nobody believed that I really didn't understand, except for the one time I did and was told off for getting the right answer by the wrong method, I gave up after that and stopped trying. I didn't really do well at all, the one O level I could of passed I wasn't allowed to do because the teacher didn't like me.
How different schools seem now, with special needs assistance, even when theres not enough of it etc.
What were your experiences of school? I'm interested in how the experience of older people is different to that of younger ones. Does the help, help? Does it add to your stress?
Hi I am 54 and had a similarish experience. I was ok at infant/juniors as lots of the kids lived near me and my mum would make me play with others from an early age. I didn't get the whole social thing, or teamwork. I particually didn't get girls and some of the boys fascination with them, they didn't play football and like things I did. I just wan't interested in them, loved sports but was no good at any of them.
Secondary school was a similar nightmare to you. Had poor eyesight but didn't want to admit it because it would have been another thing to bully me over. It was not violent bullying just annoying stuff but constant. History,science, and Geography I was above average so was in the top class with the better kids. Maths and English I was terrible at so was in the lower class with my bullies. I so hated maths, just didn't get it, and had poor teachers, of course no TA's, and went to a sub standard school.I have blotted out my secondary school years mentally. This was a all boys school and I don't think I even talked to a girl until I left at 16. By then I got the fascination but had totally missed out on the whole thing. Outside school I liked adult company, they didn't bully me and I thrived once I left school. You are not alone in your experiences.
Rob
PE, I'd forgotten the hell that was PE, in primary school runing about in our knickers and vests. At secondary school our netball and tennis pitches were by the road and a load of old perverts would stand in the trees in the park opposite and be very busy in their pockets. Every now and again the school would complain and a police car would drive past and they'd run off, but they always came back.
Bullying wasn't really recognised as a harm then either, " just stay away from them" was the standard advice, not very helpful when you're being hunted around the school by groups of them, then you have to get out through the main gates to go home and they're always waiting for you.
I'v never been very good at working in groups, I can lead them, but I'm not good at being part of one, I argue to much, theres always someone who comes out with something I profoundly disagree with and it becomes orthodoxy for the rest of the group.
But oddly for all my unpopularity I was always the one others came to when they were in trouble or worried about something and thats continued throughout my life. I bowed to the inevitable and became a counsellor in my 30's, and was quite good at it, but I still don't really understand why people think I'm so wise?