Best friend ditched me earlier.

Well Stu, your friend sounds like a bit of ass-hat to me......and perhaps you are better-off out of that relationship for a while anyway?

Some friends don't like us to change.....and that is ESPECIALLY true in terms of stopping alcohol.  You are right to prioritise your welfare, and if "friends" can't support that, they they need to be left alone to acclimatise to your new reality OR they need to be dumped.

Just my opinions.  Don't feel low.....you have conquered booze!  Celebrate.....EVERY day!  Well done Stu.  Moreover, you know/knew that this wedding trip was a bad idea for you, so you decided not to go.  We'll done for assessing the situation AND making a sound and definitive decision based on your assessment.

You have nowt to be sorry about.....and you have exposed a (at best) very stressed and selfish friend......or perhaps just a person whom you thought was a friend (whilst you were drunk too much?!)

Have a calm and confident Saturday Stu.

Kind regards

Number.

I would suggest not to focus too much on this one event, on this one comment and this one feeling.  He's your best friend so that entire relationship throughout the time you spent together simply cannot be defined by this one negative action.

I know its hard be try and separate the person from the action - he said something intolerant and a bit unkind, but there is more to him than that.  As has been pointed out, there is no doubt a huge amount going on at the moment with a move to another country, wedding, new jobs, friends etc.  I expect as he left his best friend behind he's been missing you, probably feels as though he's not made any new friends as good as you, and was looking forward to seeing you again - so you saying you're not going was really upsetting.

It's probably no comfort now, but he would have only got so angry because you not coming was so upsetting - which is nice that another human cares so much about you.

But at the same time, I had a really bad time telling me best friend I was dreading his Stag Do, this was before diagnosis.  For me I thought it was a fare thing to say as he knew I hated parties, but he took it really personally.  On reflection I understand this better now, this was a party he was incredibly excited about, proud of, looking forward to - and they I come along and make it sound like torture.

I think perhaps if you email your friend and apologies for rejecting his offer, but include your reasons, especially those related to things out of your control related to Autism, I'm sure he'd come around.

Good luck, don't feel bad for being Autistic, don't feel bad for a neurotypical not understanding - it's very common

i dont get why he fell out with you, reading it im guessing its because of the withdrawing a RSVP... but i dont know what that is, so i dunno why thats bad or if its bad as i dunno what that letter combo means.

Sorry, but if you've got friends like this then who needs enemies? I get that moving and planing a wedding are stressful events for him, but it's not right of him to take it out on you. People's attitude to alcohol really bugs me, I know recovering alcoholics and I don't drink myself because of menopause and it giving monsterous hot flushes and making me sick, but people treat you like you're about to sprout a second head. I've had drinks spiked by people who think it funny, they say I don't have a proper drink, but it's not them spending the rest of the night with their head down the toilet!

Your thanks but no thanks, is due to perfectly valid reasons, your partners workload and your own feelings of vulnerability, if the weddings being help abroad then you've got the added pressure of international travel, made a lot worse sinse Brexit, airports are horrible places and the though of the channel tunnel gives me the heebie jeebies. It all sounds like the event will take a lot longer than one or two days and thats not posible for many people.

I do get how awful it is losing a friend, its every bit as bad as breaking up with a partner, you get left with the same questions and knowlege that you're unlikely to get answers, theres a gap left by them when you think about doing the things you enjoyed together, its horrible.

I understand why you're feeling low. It's hurtful when someone you care about reacts so negatively, especially when you're already feeling fragile. It's important to remember that you did the right thing for yourself and your wife. You put your own well-being first, and that's something to be proud of. His reaction says more about him than it does about you. He's clearly not in a good place right now, and it's not your fault. It might be helpful to give him some space and see if he comes around eventually. In the meantime, focus on taking care of yourself and your wife. Surround yourself with people who support you and make you feel good. I hope things get better soon!