Feel like a bad person after the mistakes I’ve made

I have been behaving very inappropriately with one certain friend the burner phone going over his uninvited back months ago but he always comes back in the end but feel I don’t deserve it. As a person with ASD and ADHD I react out of impulse do now think later instead of it being the other way around. I am trying to change my ways but I worry about him I’m obsessive over him but I am working on improving that and I have made some improvements like seeing my other friends going to board game groups even having days where we don’t speak we just say good night and that’s it. I feel like a bad person all these mistakes people say it’s me being human but what sort of a human being goes out to buy a burner phone just to check up on a friend who wants space after a falling out? What drove me to it other than impulse I really don’t know and the worse thing about it is I can’t even tell the people involved the truth without driving them away. I know my behaviour is inappropriate but I always act before I think I get paranoid and think worse case scenario and then I have to do something about it instead of thinking stop think use logic. I have contacted the mind charity to see if I can get therapy because I know I need to stop my behaviour before it gets worse. But how can I swap the act and think over? I am really struggling with that one.