Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi my friend blocked me on Thursday evening and I have been trying to find ways of contacting him as I’m the sort of person who wants to resolve things as quickly as possible back in February out of impulse and frustration me and the same friend argued he blocked me and I ended up going over his uninvited I only wanted to resolve the argument but instead made it worse as I pushed through boundaries. Me and my friend are close but we do have our arguments like we did on Thursday. Anyway long story short today out of impulse I bought a cheap smart phone and a pay as you go SIM card I then messaged him myself pretending to be my other friend and he took the bait. He basically said we are still friends but he wants space at the moment but was annoyed with the fact that he thinks I gave my friend his number which I didn’t it was me pretending to be my friend so I could find out what’s what. I am now regretting this as I used my friend as a pawn to get in contact with my other friend who isn’t speaking to me at the moment. I want to tell the truth now but I’m afraid that I’m going to cause more damage. My head is all over the place at the moment and I don’t know what to do. Should I tell the truth or just leave it be or should I wait a while before I tell the truth?
I have been thinking about this and as far as I’m aware my friend who wants space doesn’t realise it was me that text him so I will keep it at that and I won’t tell my other friend that I used as a pawn either I have spoken to another good friend of mine and she agrees to keep this who thing a secret I will also destroy my SIM card I used and sell the phone so the evidence will be gone.
This is a lot of work, deception, and expenses, to just find out that your friend needs space and not your constant bombardment into their personal space.
Do you have attachment issues or control issues? Because what you've done just seems very extreme. I mean, buying a burner phone to mascarade as someone else, then getting rid of all the evidence, just sounds like something I'd hear from a movie. How'd you even come up with that? I would have just gone "well, my friend blocked me," and I wouldn't have talked to them for awhile.
You are discovering just how much work it is to lie, then to keep the lie going, not to mention all the collateral damage and self-sabotage. Your main concern is for yourself with no regard for your friends.
It sounds like your willfulness in getting in your own way.
You had hit bottom - now, instead of climbing out with contrition, you've started digging!