End of Relationship due to autism, What now?

NAS93209 said:

now I need to deal with that and find somewhere else to live and it's all a bit much.

First thing is to deal with the practicalities. Don't be afraid to call in any support you have left for this as it can be a challenge.

If you have ever tried a mind map before then this technique is great for breaking down the tasks.

Basically write down the objective in a bubble in the middle of a sheet of A4 paper. Now start to think of all the things that need to be done to get there - start with big clusters of tasks like - finding the flat, organising utility bills, moving your stuff, getting the furniture you need, notifying all the relevant companies of the change of address etc.

create a satellite bubble for each of these around the central bubble and start writing the names of who you need to speak to for these around them.

Then create a new sheet with these satellite bubbles and expand on them - eg finding a new flat involves:

• finding estate agents and telling them what you want
• Gathering bank statements, salary slips, previous utility bills etc to supply if you are renting.
• Checking what other proofs are needed if renting.
• Liberating enough cash from savings for the likes of a deposit and all up front costs (first months rent, initial food shop etc etc)
• setting aside time to view properties (rentals go very fast so you need to be ready to move quickly)

Repeat this process for all the satellite tasks and before long you have all the big picture planned out, so you can break it into smaller tasks and just work through them repeatedly until they are all done or awaiting someone else.

It is a version of project planning for small tasks like house moves.

Once you have a place to live in and are secure then get yourself a therapist and talk through the issues with them - just make sure they are well versed in dealing with autists.

Good luck

NAS93209 said:

now I need to deal with that and find somewhere else to live and it's all a bit much.

First thing is to deal with the practicalities. Don't be afraid to call in any support you have left for this as it can be a challenge.

If you have ever tried a mind map before then this technique is great for breaking down the tasks.

Basically write down the objective in a bubble in the middle of a sheet of A4 paper. Now start to think of all the things that need to be done to get there - start with big clusters of tasks like - finding the flat, organising utility bills, moving your stuff, getting the furniture you need, notifying all the relevant companies of the change of address etc.

create a satellite bubble for each of these around the central bubble and start writing the names of who you need to speak to for these around them.

Then create a new sheet with these satellite bubbles and expand on them - eg finding a new flat involves:

• finding estate agents and telling them what you want
• Gathering bank statements, salary slips, previous utility bills etc to supply if you are renting.
• Checking what other proofs are needed if renting.
• Liberating enough cash from savings for the likes of a deposit and all up front costs (first months rent, initial food shop etc etc)
• setting aside time to view properties (rentals go very fast so you need to be ready to move quickly)

Repeat this process for all the satellite tasks and before long you have all the big picture planned out, so you can break it into smaller tasks and just work through them repeatedly until they are all done or awaiting someone else.

It is a version of project planning for small tasks like house moves.

Once you have a place to live in and are secure then get yourself a therapist and talk through the issues with them - just make sure they are well versed in dealing with autists.

Good luck