How do I know if I’m masking?

I’m a woman in my 30s and haven’t yet been diagnosed, and only recently familiar with masking and what it is. The problem is, I feel I have been masking my entire life and now don’t know what I am masking and what is the real me. Any tips on how to work out what I am masking and what is the real me?

I score just over the threshold on the RAADS-R test and the AQ50. However score very high on a masking/camouflaging test. It also makes me wonder, am I actually autistic or am I looking for answers that aren’t there?

Parents
  • It's an interesting question and there's no easy answer.

    I guess for me: the closest I ever get to unmasking is in therapy, because I know that my therapist is not judging me and is welcoming (and also autistic). If I can be a bit silly, chaotic and 'unhinged', it's often a sign that something is working. Provided it's within the confines of what's appropriate, of course.

  • Im new to this site it was suggested to me by my therapist to join and talk to people like my self. I haven't been officially  diagnosed yet but have been referred. 

    When I'm in therapy I find that I unmask more when I am there as they understand me more. 

Reply
  • Im new to this site it was suggested to me by my therapist to join and talk to people like my self. I haven't been officially  diagnosed yet but have been referred. 

    When I'm in therapy I find that I unmask more when I am there as they understand me more. 

Children
  • I'm new here too. I'm in my 50s and was diagnosed only a couple of years ago. I've spent my whole life masking. I'm a veritable chameleon. When I was in my teens I started to try different things to see what I liked so I could learn who I was. Even today,  the only person with whom  I can truly be myself is my husband. I'm at peace with that. I do realise how exhausting it is for others but try and take time out for you and see what you like.