Published on 12, July, 2020
I’m a woman in my 30s and haven’t yet been diagnosed, and only recently familiar with masking and what it is. The problem is, I feel I have been masking my entire life and now don’t know what I am masking and what is the real me. Any tips on how to work out what I am masking and what is the real me?
I score just over the threshold on the RAADS-R test and the AQ50. However score very high on a masking/camouflaging test. It also makes me wonder, am I actually autistic or am I looking for answers that aren’t there?
It's an interesting question and there's no easy answer.
I guess for me: the closest I ever get to unmasking is in therapy, because I know that my therapist is not judging me and is welcoming (and also autistic). If I can be a bit silly, chaotic and 'unhinged', it's often a sign that something is working. Provided it's within the confines of what's appropriate, of course.
Im new to this site it was suggested to me by my therapist to join and talk to people like my self. I haven't been officially diagnosed yet but have been referred.
When I'm in therapy I find that I unmask more when I am there as they understand me more.
I'm new here too. I'm in my 50s and was diagnosed only a couple of years ago. I've spent my whole life masking. I'm a veritable chameleon. When I was in my teens I started to try different things to see what I liked so I could learn who I was. Even today, the only person with whom I can truly be myself is my husband. I'm at peace with that. I do realise how exhausting it is for others but try and take time out for you and see what you like.