Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm in my mid 20s. I don't know if I would consider myself to have ever had a permanent, full-time job.
In my late teens, I did some volunteering. My first paid job was at 22 where I was a runner on a TV show. I ended up working with them for five months, mostly on a part-time basis (two days a week) but it was manageable for me. Surprisingly, given the long commute (hour either way) and long hours (10) but I guess two days a week offsets that.
I did a bit more in the TV industry but it was all very intense and I didn't last much longer. Also, it was freelance, and therefore contract based. Not really ideal if you're wanting stability. The opportunities didn't come so easily to me because I was after something which wasn't 5 days a week, 12 hours a day.
It was 2.5 years ago that I last had a paid job. I've done freelance/ad-hoc things in the meantime. More recently, I began looking in a different direction: I reached out to a theatre company in my area as I thought that could be a possible route. I've always been into performing arts anyway.
I had a meeting with someone who set up some shadowing in a primary school. He goes in and runs drama lessons for 5-7 year old kids once a week and I was there to, I guess, get a sense of what it's about and also just to be doing something cos it had been ages. I did that on two occasions, and had another meeting yesterday with someone at the company, and I sat in (and joined in with) a group of young people (with disabilities) who were preparing something.
I'm in a weird position where I don't know if I'll have the mental or physical capacity to do a job, and that's without knowing what the job in this field even is for me. Admittedly I've not made life easy for myself as I physically can't do jobs I don't enjoy - I'd back out after a few days, if that. However, I know there's something here that I can at least explore. I guess it's scary because I'm so out of practice; it feels so long ago that I was studying 5 days a week or whatever (well, it was long ago!) and I almost can't believe I managed that when I was younger.
I know I'm very late to this party, but I thought I would share anyway because this question resonates with me. I always felt "broken" because everyone around me seemed to know what to do with their life and I just kind of hovered around with no clue what I wanted. I'm 31 now and I still can't decide.
I do like working, kind of. If I'm in a good mood I can enthusiastically work an 18 hour shift, but some days I am burnt out by the time I have drank my coffee and would rather die. This is usually when I end up quitting. At my last job (stacking shelves in a small supermarket) I lasted 2 whole years!! (My longest ever job) I lasted this long specifically because I went through HR and got my hours capped at 25 hours per week. My previous experiences with work would of been so much better if I had known this was possible! My advice is, no matter where you work, really try to communicate your needs. Write them in a letter if it's easier. If you don't want to tell them you're ND you can just say you struggle with mental health issues. (I don't like telling people I'm autistic because then it becomes "a thing" and idiots treat me like a child who needs constant supervision. Atleast if people just think I'm wierd they still treat me like a functioning adult)
Obviously there will be times at work, as in life in general, when you will have to do stuff you don't want to, like work on a bad day, or do a task you don't enjoy, but it's alot easier to tolerate those sucky times if you know you have agreements in place to help protect you. Just try your best and never feel guilty for stepping back if it gets too much.