Trying to work out what you want to do in life

I'm in my mid 20s. I don't know if I would consider myself to have ever had a permanent, full-time job.

In my late teens, I did some volunteering. My first paid job was at 22 where I was a runner on a TV show. I ended up working with them for five months, mostly on a part-time basis (two days a week) but it was manageable for me. Surprisingly, given the long commute (hour either way) and long hours (10) but I guess two days a week offsets that.

I did a bit more in the TV industry but it was all very intense and I didn't last much longer. Also, it was freelance, and therefore contract based. Not really ideal if you're wanting stability. The opportunities didn't come so easily to me because I was after something which wasn't 5 days a week, 12 hours a day.

It was 2.5 years ago that I last had a paid job. I've done freelance/ad-hoc things in the meantime. More recently, I began looking in a different direction: I reached out to a theatre company in my area as I thought that could be a possible route. I've always been into performing arts anyway.

I had a meeting with someone who set up some shadowing in a primary school. He goes in and runs drama lessons for 5-7 year old kids once a week and I was there to, I guess, get a sense of what it's about and also just to be doing something cos it had been ages. I did that on two occasions, and had another meeting yesterday with someone at the company, and I sat in (and joined in with) a group of young people (with disabilities) who were preparing something.

I'm in a weird position where I don't know if I'll have the mental or physical capacity to do a job, and that's without knowing what the job in this field even is for me. Admittedly I've not made life easy for myself as I physically can't do jobs I don't enjoy - I'd back out after a few days, if that. However, I know there's something here that I can at least explore. I guess it's scary because I'm so out of practice; it feels so long ago that I was studying 5 days a week or whatever (well, it was long ago!) and I almost can't believe I managed that when I was younger.

  • I know I'm very late to this party, but I thought I would share anyway because this question resonates with me. I always felt "broken" because everyone around me seemed to know what to do with their life and I just kind of hovered around with no clue what I wanted. I'm 31 now and I still can't decide. 

    I do like working, kind of. If I'm in a good mood I can enthusiastically work an 18 hour shift, but some days I am burnt out by the time I have drank my coffee and would rather die. This is usually when I end up quitting. At my last job (stacking shelves in a small supermarket) I lasted 2 whole years!! (My longest ever job) I lasted this long specifically because I went through HR and got my hours capped at 25 hours per week. My previous experiences with work would of been so much better if I had known this was possible! My advice is, no matter where you work, really try to communicate your needs. Write them in a letter if it's easier. If you don't want to tell them you're ND you can just say you struggle with mental health issues. (I don't like telling people I'm autistic because then it becomes "a thing" and idiots treat me like a child who needs constant supervision. Atleast if people just think I'm wierd they still treat me like a functioning adult) 

    Obviously there will be times at work, as in life in general, when you will have to do stuff you don't want to, like work on a bad day, or do a task you don't enjoy, but it's alot easier to tolerate those sucky times if you know you have agreements in place to help protect you. Just try your best and never feel guilty for stepping back if it gets too much. 

  • I am 54 and have only one ambition and that is retirement. Being undiagnosed until 50, but masking all that time to be normal I have always worked. I am now burnt out and even a job I have been doing for years is now a massive struggle. However by this time next year  I would have had a few months off after relocating and will be looking for a min wage job with little stress.

    You have many years ahead of you and you should take the time to do something you enjoy. I went for something I found easy, but never enjoyed and now I hate it.

  • I’m 35, graduated in logistics but I feel like I have poor chances on this branch, because I can’t drive a car, mostly companies want people with driver license. I speak 4 languages including my first language (polish, then English German and Russian) and I’ve never had any job better than warehouse or call center- which was a mental torture for me but I had to endure it due to Covid. I often hear that with my knowledge I should make a great career and I have so many opportunities… but I don’t know there must be something wrong with me. Yeah, statement of my life. Once I was a team lead in a warehouse and it was my best job ever! Predictability, routine, it was quite quiet there with dim lights and no stress. I think I need to go that path instead of great career as others tell me. It’s just not for me. You have interesting experience!  

  • Since Covid, we need to question everything 

  • At age 53, the only reason why I stayed in supermarket retailing for 30 years (and 17 years in one of these here in the U.K.) was that I was bullied and manipulated out of doing anything else, coming from an Irish Catholic background - of the hardest lessons that I’ve had to learn the hard way and to accept, is that bullies always win and always get away with their bullying behaviour, bullies can paint you as “negative” when this is not the case - and they can also make it look like you are the problem, the one that has the attitude problem, while also plausibly denying the fact of their bullying and manipulative behaviour 

  • I like to try everything! Life is a buffet! And one never gets full!

  • Yes, the what ifs are difficult. I thought I had a clearer idea but now I'm questioning everything. 

  • I'm 62 and I still don't what I want to do when I grow up. To be honest I think its a bit daft to have just one thing anyway, you change throughout life and different things inspire you, most people will have had 2 or 3 different careers by the time they get to my age, the whole idea of a job or career for life seems strange these days. But if you feel drawn to something then go for it, it might not work out, but then it might and you will have a successful and fulfilling career. Don't let the "what if's" get the better of you, that's a part of you thats afraid of success, we all have one, but what if you're brilliant!