Published on 12, July, 2020
Where do I start? Soon to be 67. . Recently diagnosed ADHD and Autism. NT partner 74. Been together 30+ years. Thought all our problems might get resolved with diagnosis.
Not so. Partner feels hopeless. Alone. Isolated. She can't see me ever changing. Before diagnosis she had hope that I could. She feels her life with me has been wasted. She hones in on my every 'mistake' and blames Autism. "You're the autistic one" is being said more and more.
What is so sad is that she is a truly good person becoming sad, scared and bitter.
At age 53 now, even as an older and conservative minded Irish gay man, I’m far more concerned about what life will be like for the actual babies of today compared to my own childhood in the 70’s and my teens in the 80’s - by comparison to more recent years, we had far more (relative) freedoms and I’ve noticed a pattern during my 30 years in supermarket retailing and living in working class areas in both Ireland and the U.K. over 22 years that gradually, children today are gradually losing the freedoms that my generation once took for granted - I have extended family in Rural Ireland and even though I’m not a parent myself, I’ve noticed and observed a lot of very disturbing trends that don’t look well for the future, yet many of my own generation simply do not see what is really happening in so many areas where children and young people are concerned - in my teens, I embraced modernity and change but now, as I see what is really happening, I reject modernity and change, not just related to my getting older, just like my grandparents generation did - it saddens me to see so many young people flying blind into the abyss - they say that age brings wisdom, but it does concern me that young people almost seem incapable of understanding and acting upon that wisdom, only when it’s too late
IrishInManchesterUK said:by comparison to more recent years, we had far more (relative) freedoms
Which were these? As I recall any kind of sexual devience was a crime up to the 90s, religious intolerance was rife, sexual abuse by priests seemed almost accepted and we lacked the knowledge that the internet brought to our fingertips.
IrishInManchesterUK said:I reject modernity and change
You realise that these are the very things that led you to be able to be openly gay and live with protected rights now?
IrishInManchesterUK said:it does concern me that young people almost seem incapable of understanding and acting upon that wisdom, only when it’s too late
Was it really so different when we were young? I don't see the same rose tinted past as you - it was rough growing up, especially with autism (undiagnosed of course) and there were plenty of opportunities for staring into the abyss.
Where I grew up in small town Scotland there was a lot of deaths through drug and alcohol abuse amoung my age group plus plenty who ended up in bortal or prison. Those who came out as gay were beaten up regularly for this and the stigma placed on them was harsh.
I have to say for all the snowflakery of the current generation I think they have much more tolerance given to them and masses of information at their fingertips to make the better decisions.
If they chose to make bad decisions in spite of this then that is on them - you can't cure youth! If anything this is the crucible in which most of us were forged as adults and it hasn't done us a lot of harm in the bigger picture.
I don't know how old you are Iain, but hell yes, it was a LOT different in my childhood!
The adults were also very different to todays adults.
Whether it was "better" or "worse" will be determined by the future, no matter what we feel.
"Wood from the trees", and all that.