For those who are not proud/happy to be autistic...

Some love being autistic, I personally feel neutral about it most of the time and sometimes negative.

Here you can share your struggles and dislike for autism. 

I'm gonna share too, though I'm sleep deprived right now and might seem drunk lol. 

I wish I was not different on so many levels including autism. I wish I had friends or liked socializing. I wish I didn't struggle with lying and such. I wish people would stop telling me I'm rude or I should smile or whatever, I haven't hurt anyone by my face, leave me be! I wish I didn't have autism inertia and could be more in sync with the world. Wish I didn't get tired so easily.

Guess that's it for now, huh? 

Also, wanted to say that just the act of sharing and being listened to has helped me multiple times on this website, sharing things I had never shared, so thank you! 

Parents
  • My awareness and emotion towards "me" has changed over the years.

    Young days I didn't notice much difference, I was top of the class and thought I was lucky in early days of primary school. As time went on, difference became noticeable, like the fact I  didn't like football like 99 percent of boys in the 80s, so was on the edges at break times, slowly realising I didn't quite fit.

    Highschool came and I was crushed by social interactions, so much so I messed up what could have been great results.

    Early work years I was angry, I was right and everyone else wrong. Eventually I realised that was unlikely, one right person and a few billion wrong? Maybe it was me ..

    Since then I've slowly understood my difference, masked it (very well at times) , found it to be a burden and a gift in equal amounts. 

    Im starting to accept who I am now, at times I "like me" other times "loathe". I've achieved many things and can't complain about the life I have built for me and my wife and kids,  but I'm aware that I've had to try so much harder than others it's hurt more than it ever should. 

    Finding this website has helped a lot, it's great to not feel alone in my autism, many things I read make me feel sad, others hopeful, it's a nice place to visit and take time out among some great people sharing the same experiences.

Reply
  • My awareness and emotion towards "me" has changed over the years.

    Young days I didn't notice much difference, I was top of the class and thought I was lucky in early days of primary school. As time went on, difference became noticeable, like the fact I  didn't like football like 99 percent of boys in the 80s, so was on the edges at break times, slowly realising I didn't quite fit.

    Highschool came and I was crushed by social interactions, so much so I messed up what could have been great results.

    Early work years I was angry, I was right and everyone else wrong. Eventually I realised that was unlikely, one right person and a few billion wrong? Maybe it was me ..

    Since then I've slowly understood my difference, masked it (very well at times) , found it to be a burden and a gift in equal amounts. 

    Im starting to accept who I am now, at times I "like me" other times "loathe". I've achieved many things and can't complain about the life I have built for me and my wife and kids,  but I'm aware that I've had to try so much harder than others it's hurt more than it ever should. 

    Finding this website has helped a lot, it's great to not feel alone in my autism, many things I read make me feel sad, others hopeful, it's a nice place to visit and take time out among some great people sharing the same experiences.

Children
  • Eventually I realised that was unlikely, one right person and a few billion wrong? Maybe it was me ..

    Quote of the day...

    Although recently I have seen millions of people get it badly wrong on some issues, and a tiny minority be right, but that doesn't happen very often.

    More than it should though historically speaking , cough, National Socialism, The Bolsheviks, Ukraine, Anything made by Apple...  (O.K. The last example is a personal axe to grind, added to lighten the mood and probably not as strong as the others...)