long term depression & suicidal thoughts

not much.

although i feel having frequent kickboxing classes a week reduces stress and builds me up and makes me feel better and the skill and physical increase then makes me feel it would be a waste simply to let this die.

then ofcourse having parents alive helps as youd not wanna go until they have gone first and youd then maybe also want to make sure they feel comfortable in their going by making sure your future is set and on the right course so as to not make them pass with worry about you. but then youd have likely got a certain distance like got a property and ability to see future retirement due to setting your life that you then feel like it would be a bit of a waste to just end it and it better to have your death as the regular wait for old age passing and enjoy what you have earned as in the next life you maybe worse off than this life if reincarnation exists. but you will always feel it, perhaps quitting alcohol is a good idea if you drink it as i feel thats definately a depressive.... and going to bed early as i personally feel the later it gets the more depressed and moody i am although i cant help that as my job has me working all the way through night sometimes and forces me to be awake and at a place i despise for overly long night hours that im not even paid night rate for.