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Recently Diagnosed at 30

Emma
6 months ago

I've just had my assesment on the 2nd where they diagnosed me with autism. I had a really hard time growing up, I told my mum I'd been diagnoised. She was aware I was going through the process for the last year of getting an assesment. I sent her some links from this website for her to read to help her understand my diagnosis. I'm at a total loss of her messaging me saying "I will go through it when I'm ready, but as Im not in the right place at the moment and may say something. So I'm asking for space at the moment" I'm not sure on how to deal with this. 

Parents Reply Children
  • 5 months ago in reply to NAS91928

    I really wish this was the case for me, for context I am her second child I have an brother who is 6 years older then me.She has a way of making things about herself, but this time I wasnt expecting her to react this way. 

    I sent to her on messanger "I want you to understand I am not blaiming you for this. Yes in hindsight you and dad should of done more but thats not going to help anyone now. I want to put that behind and start working on what can help me now. I  need you to understand what Autism is and not take it so personaly. Its a disabilty, it dosnt have a cure. We're not going to be able to move past this till you can appcept and understand what it actualy is and that its not a personal attack on you. I need you to understand how much I've struggled, I know you have also struggled I understand that I truly do. But imagen you going through your diabites with no medication or help and not understanding why these things are happening to your body, how scary it is"

    Her respone to this has completly thrown me

    "I do understand but to me it is an attack on me for giving birth to you. I have been here for you, through thick and thin. I totally understand as I've been through it with no diagnosis for years but that's me. The thing is you have to do what is right for you and at the moment I feel you are wanting someone to blame. I am not in the right headspace with my health. You have Harri to support you and I have always helped you but at present you need to accept and understand the person you are and until then you won't agree with anything I say. Yes 30 years is a long time but when I decided to have a baby I didn't get told what to expect, there was no manual to follow and times were different to now. I did the best I could, we all make mistakes.
    Life is scary and I understand how scary illness is, I have been there but I have also had to bring you and Shaun up with no diagnosis and no help. You don't understand my benign intracranial hypertension or my other things but I have had to accept myself for who I am. I feel you need to learn how it effects you and what parts do as shouting at me to understand and the way my brain is since I've had the covid. You haven't listened to me on this. I will let you digest your information and get rid of your anger. The main thing is your finally getting help."

    I'm at a total loss, I've not responded to her as she clearly does not understand or even willing to and trying to blame me for everything