Healthy outlook > Mortality

I think lots of people struggle with death, the whole concept of it. I know/have faith that there's more than this life, I've had a couple of near death experiences. But what freaked me out the most was the idea of what happens to the body, I found learning about the processes of death both dealt with the fear and calming and has led me to some new and interesting topics, physical anthroplogy, what bones can tell us about the life of a person or population group. Social anthropology, around death ritual and how death is thought about in different cultures and times.

I feel OK with the idea of being dead, I'm not looking forward to the pain and mess of it though. I sometimes wish there was no afterlife, that there was nothing, then nobody would be able to bother me again. I have this irrational semi-fear that when I die someone will develop a relaible method of necromancy and I'll still get bothered by stupid questions.

But if the idea of nothingness scares you, think about this, No-thingness. What is this thingness that you won't have?

Thanks for your answer, interesting to read your perspective on it.

I love the necromancy point, such a cool and unusual "fear" if you don't mind me saying!

There are two elements I suppose - one is more practical, leaving behind family and friends never to see them again, and being parted from them.  This feels incredibly painful to consider, and since having kids, I find myself fixating a little on getting the kids to a point where they don't need me any more before anything happens to myself or my wife.

The second element, is more existential I suppose.  I don't have faith as such, rather my fear is one that when it's over there is simply "no longer existing" and that this is just... eternal.  If your consciousness truly dies, just lights out, never to exist again, I find that of itself terrifying - if I truly try to imagine it, an eternity of nothing, no thought, no memory's, no dreams - in fact, not even the consciousness of the lack of consciousness - simply nothing because you don't exist.

Then this will last until the end of time - you never come back.  I find that so so scary :(

I've always wondered if its the part of my excessively logical brain trying to map out the "problem" and find a solution etc, anticipate what happens after my "fear" so I can plan for it - but of course it is in essence unresolvable.  I'm curious as to whether this view is a common one amongst autistic people.

Selfishly, I have two daughters - I consider the above "fear" a burden I have carried with me since maybe late childhood, and I'd feel great reassurance to know that its not common to all autistic people and that my daughters may at least enjoy this life without this burden.

I also hope I might develop a more healthy outlook for my own happiness sake!

I too worry about there being nothing once it happens. I worry that my boys will feel sad also. I worry that my youngest who is autistic won’t have his rock anymore. I’m not so bothered about the D word but it’s the uncertainty of not knowing if my children will deal with it in an ok way. 
Im terrified of when the day comes and takes my parents away also, I just don’t know if I would be able to cope with that. 

Yes I agree.  I think its fear of the unknown really dialed up to 11 isn't it.

I suppose I struggle with the concept of change in general.  I'd like really, for all the things to stop changing.  I'd like my parents to stop aging, my kids to stay as young and innocent and untroubled as they are.  And for my wife, and friends, and her family to stay well as they are, and not age.

I find anything which reminds me of changing and aging effects that sense of permanence which my mind seems to constantly strive for.  One of my absolute pet hates are those clickbait stories about famous film stars from the 80's / 90's etc "see how much Harrison Ford has aged!" etc - makes me feel very anxious.

Yes I agree.  I think its fear of the unknown really dialed up to 11 isn't it.

I suppose I struggle with the concept of change in general.  I'd like really, for all the things to stop changing.  I'd like my parents to stop aging, my kids to stay as young and innocent and untroubled as they are.  And for my wife, and friends, and her family to stay well as they are, and not age.

I find anything which reminds me of changing and aging effects that sense of permanence which my mind seems to constantly strive for.  One of my absolute pet hates are those clickbait stories about famous film stars from the 80's / 90's etc "see how much Harrison Ford has aged!" etc - makes me feel very anxious.

Sounds like we're in a very similar place.  I have two young girls, and my eldest autistic and with whom I do have a special bond and understanding, I worry for her especially and sometimes almost feel like I want to push her away to protect her.

I have an odd relationship with my parents, without wanting to sound heartless I'm not sure what I feel about that side of things - I find them hard to be around, they really affect my mood.  But then I feel guilty for not feeling a more "natural" feeling towards them here.  The idea upsets me I suppose, but I'd struggle to articulate why beyond the idea of them "not being here" upsetting me.

Sounds like we're in a very similar place.  I have two young girls, and my eldest autistic and with whom I do have a special bond and understanding, I worry for her especially and sometimes almost feel like I want to push her away to protect her.

I have an odd relationship with my parents, without wanting to sound heartless I'm not sure what I feel about that side of things - I find them hard to be around, they really affect my mood.  But then I feel guilty for not feeling a more "natural" feeling towards them here.  The idea upsets me I suppose, but I'd struggle to articulate why beyond the idea of them "not being here" upsetting me.