Published on 12, July, 2020
So I recently got diagnosed (Jan this year) and one of the things they said I need to do is learn to unmask. It seems now I'm thinking of being more 'me' the more Autistic I seem.
But I've had a thought, I've never really had a typical stim, though I am just wondering if this could be stimming.
Whenever I have music on with a certain beat I used to just bop my head, now I'm letting go and it's making me so frigging happy. I'm throwing shapes, throwing hands, going crazy, air drumming like a maniac lol first time I did it a little bit I was in a train and felt on overwhelming urge to cry because I suddenly felt emotional (when the train got busy though I went back into my shell) but at home in front of thr husband and kids ive now started letting go completely and it feels so freeing.
Am I stimming here?
I'm not sure but I think yes. I've also started jumping and kicking my legs when I'm happy after I realized I'm autistic. I just feel happiness and joy stronger; good food tastes better, good shows fill me with much more joy, I appreciate happy moments with others more... It's like there was always this thing around me that was making all senses dull, like when you wear gloves.
I still get apathetic from time to time but it's much much less frequent and persistent.
Thank you, I agree after letting go happiness feels happier and bigger. It's nice to get a different view point.
I'm glad my reply was helpful in a way. There are other things too that I didn't think were stimming at first but I think they actually are, like; making random noises or imitating noises, playing with my tongue inside my mouth (I can turn my tongue 90 degrees and more and it amazes my brother), making weird shapes with my fingers, looking at objects from different perspectives and sometimes getting really lost in it - I guess this one might be something else other than stimming - and stuff I thought were OCD before like organizing or washing my hands a lot which happen more strongly if I'm more anxious.