Published on 12, July, 2020
So I recently got diagnosed (Jan this year) and one of the things they said I need to do is learn to unmask. It seems now I'm thinking of being more 'me' the more Autistic I seem.
But I've had a thought, I've never really had a typical stim, though I am just wondering if this could be stimming.
Whenever I have music on with a certain beat I used to just bop my head, now I'm letting go and it's making me so frigging happy. I'm throwing shapes, throwing hands, going crazy, air drumming like a maniac lol first time I did it a little bit I was in a train and felt on overwhelming urge to cry because I suddenly felt emotional (when the train got busy though I went back into my shell) but at home in front of thr husband and kids ive now started letting go completely and it feels so freeing.
Am I stimming here?
I'm not sure but I think yes. I've also started jumping and kicking my legs when I'm happy after I realized I'm autistic. I just feel happiness and joy stronger; good food tastes better, good shows fill me with much more joy, I appreciate happy moments with others more... It's like there was always this thing around me that was making all senses dull, like when you wear gloves.
I still get apathetic from time to time but it's much much less frequent and persistent.
Thank you, I agree after letting go happiness feels happier and bigger. It's nice to get a different view point.