Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm looking for some advice I guess about how to find a sense of self or anyone who has had a similar experience.
I've been struggling recently with feeling like I don't know who I am, what traits I have, what I like etc. I have spent most of my life absorbing traits and stuff from others and now I'm at a point where I feel almost empty. I struggle with quite bad anxiety and at times depression so I find it hard to make friends or try new things. I feel like when I was younger I had less shame to be who I was and so thought I had a solid sense of self but as I've got older I experience more and more shame and so now I'm just confused and empty. Sometimes I wonder if I really like the things I like or whether it's just something I've absorbed from someone else. I feel a bit like a ghost. I hope that makes sense!
Has anyone had a similar experience? I'm trying hypnotherapy at the weekend which is last ditch attempt to try and get into my subconscious so I'm hoping that may help. For context I'm a 32 year old woman, recently diagnosed with autism, I work full time and am just recovering from burnout (although am still finding full time work hard).
I relate to this heavy. I often question who I am, what I enjoy, what is my purpose. I also find myself absorbing peoples interests etc too. I read somewhere this could be a symptom of BPD, which I've also heard is commonly given as a diagnostic to a lot of women before they're diagnosed with ASD... It just makes me wonder if I could have that or why I find myself taking on other people's personas almost.
I'm a 25 year old woman officially diagnosed autistic last year. All my life I was labelled shy and put things down to just being anxiety but obviously there was more to it.
I wish I could go back to being a kid because making friends seemed a lot more effortless and fun!
Would u mind giving an update on the hypnotherapy? Sounds interesting!
Bit of a late response but I've finished hypnotherapy now and remembered this post! Hypnotherapy was actually amazing and I would highly recommend. It's actually more like guided meditation than the traditional hypnotherapy you see in the media. The lady I saw tailored it to help me with anxiety and intrusive thoughts specifically and after 6 sessions I felt I didn't need it anymore it had made such a difference! Let me know though if you have any questions about it.