Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi! Ive noticed and my family members have noticed that I’m quite a hothead when it comes to simple things. For instance while I’m cycling to work I could get frustrated at the fact the wind is blowing in my direction.
I also use curse words quite a bit I stop myself from swearing when In front of children or I mouth it but don’t say it aloud.
please help I want to stop getting angry and frustrated as I don’t wanna lose relationships because of it.
I've started doing mindfulness at night like writing how my day went and how I feel but I need other suggestions.
I am very much the same.
my frustration and anger is triggered by rude and selfish people, I just cannot tolerate it. Some examples are impatient drivers, queue jumping and people really close and in my face. The other thing that triggers me is not being able to do certain things perfectly, the anger and frustration is directed towards myself and I’m really not being kind to myself when this happens. Is this a autistic thing??
Would love to be able to advise you on some strategies but I’m at a bit of a loss with it too.
Good luck and I hope you find something that helps
Out of interest, how is your sleep? Are you eating well?
I am exactly the same.
Another thing you could try, watch some ranty, angry comedians, like older Rhod Gilbert stuff and imagine how you'd put what your feeling into a standup routine, you never know you might end up with a new career?
It sounds like you are doing well and quite self-aware.
In dog training there is a thing called Trigger Stacking.
If you experience lots of stressful events in the day then it can build up and make you over-react to a small thing. If you recognise when this is happening within yourself then it's possible to stop it in time before you blow your top!
Really? I’ll try this next time
Sometimes physical like throwing something at the wall or punching my chair or pillow(s) and yeah I talk with my mother after it and explain how I feel
Have a good old fashioned rant, tell people you're not asking for answers, that your questions are rhetorical. Grab hold of a cushion with your teeth and worry it like a dog with a rat, kids will love doing this with you, lol.
Hi Harry, this a real problem for me at the moment, especially when I'm on the roads. Does your anger ever turn into something physical - like behaving in an untypical or erratic way?
I have tried self-help books in the past which follow a CBT type model but now I know that CBT isn't great for me. Writing things down sounds good though, same as talking it through with someone.
See, I hate when people think it as “simple” to just calm down
I'm in a very similar position to you, in that I'm struggling to find ways to manage it. A lot of the advice I get, I find quite insulting (calm down, count to ten in your head etc).
I'd like to think if I was able to channel the energy into something else, I'd be fine.