Published on 12, July, 2020
I am a 39 year old Male, newly diagnosed and struggling with the official diagnosis and looking for support and to sharing stories with others.
I have long thought that I was autistic and have after years of waiting, had a a formal diagnosis, but this has turned up all manner of feelings which I didn't expect.
I always thought this would bring validation, but now I feel lost and like I have wronged everyone and should be apologizing to everyone. I also don't want to disclose to anyone, but the only thing I can think of during every conversation is that I have autism and to tell the person.
I have a job and a wife and have read so many things in this last weeks, but I am struggling with being my old self, let alone unmasking.
Does anyone have advice as to how they have managed after a diagnosis and disclosure to people.
I'm most anxious about disclosures to work and controlling who knows.
I don't want an excuse, or people talking about it, pointing it out, pandering to me or giving sympathy, asking me to take a break, any of it.
Thank you guys.
I do feel comfort knowing that others have been and are in the same place I am.
It's unfortunate for us all that this is an expected and required stage to pass through, but it's better knowing it's not just a me thing.
I disclosed to my area manager yesterday and I was greeted at first with, yeah I have thought you might be, and, I think I'm a bit autistic, before she was eventually helpful and agreed to to share or rush who may know or need to know.
I have a letter of recommended reasonable adjustments, which includes a support person in work. I've chosen the person and had already disclosed to her immediately afterwards. She knew in advance of my troubles and the eventual assessment arriving.
For now, I'm still going backwards and forward, but it didn't consume all of my thoughts today and I was able to about my work as usual, which is a step back towards normality. It has now taken a week to get the first day where it hasn't left me in a spin with feeling like a fraud and a liar.
To have the support of your area manager as well as a trusted colleague is great news Lee.Maybe that's something that I should have sought (having a buddy / mentor at work), whereas the only adjustments that I thought I needed was reduced hours (7.5 down to 6 per day) and maintaining the existing reporting structure. If I had asked for more support, I might not be leaving my job at the end of the week.
Anyway, its great to hear that progress that you're making - even at this early stage.You'll no doubt have bumps in the road, but take it day by day. Sometimes it can be a case of taking it hour by hour.
All the best