Published on 12, July, 2020
I had an abusive mother. I would describe her as cold, emotionless, hateful, sick and twisted. She would lock me in rooms and tell me to shut up when I was crying. I wish I had a better mum than the one I unfortunately had to be given. I blame her 100% for causing my autism. I will most certainly never forgive her for everything she has done to me. All the opportunities and adventures I missed out on all because of her. Her mother was similar to my mum. She was also cold and emotionless and terrible with children. I never cried when she died over 10 years ago and still haven’t cried since. She is not someone I will ever miss because she means absolutely nothing to me. My mum is unforgivable I used to cry and wish she would just have showed me some love. But now I feel nothing and wish I never had her as my mum because she never did anything for me. In fact all she did was try and ruin my life. Never forgive never forget.
It's a shame that so many families treated awkward kids, that way. My Nan was similar, but I gave her a good send-off in the end. She didn't have to die in a care home. But it was out of duty, rather than benefit.
People are more concerned about reputation than service. As a result, we lost our sense of connection. The closest woman to a girlfriend I had was similar to gran. She wanted 'Nothing Bad' to happen to me. Which meant I was wrapped in cotton wool. Only now am I breaking free from this mess.
I wasn’t even awkward until my mum got in the way. I was a normal kid and then I changed thanks to my mum damaging me. I’m still undoing the damage to this day. That’s good that you’re breaking free too.