Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi! I am a 40 year old woman and have recently been diagnosed with Autism. My struggles are with social interaction. I only have 1 friend and when in jobs I always end up in some kind of social drama with the various cliques. I don’t understand why people hate me so much as I try to be funny and nice, but something always happens. I have just started in a new position in a department I used to work in and arrived to find another colleague actually moving all her things out of the bay because she didn’t want to sit beside me. A year ago she was bullying another colleague and I stepped in and told her to stop. It seems it is related to that. I have been told I have an elevated sense of fairness and moral justice. I complained about this colleagues behaviour and now no one is speaking to me. This sort of thing has happened in other jobs. I have bought ear plugs to wear so I can’t hear the whispering and am avoiding everyone but I feel very lonely and hurt. The organisation I work for don’t know about my diagnosis, should I tell them? Also does anyone else have these problems in work?
Magrat said:I have been told I have an elevated sense of fairness and moral justice
This is quite common in ASD, I'm much the same. Although as I've seen on this forum, it doesn't extend very far, unfortunately.
Be aware of basic employment laws and your rights: https://www.acas.org.uk/. That's a good, free resource. If one person is persistently bullying, then you should report this to your manager.
In 2017 I had a managerial role and was sitting next to a particularly stupid bloke in his mid-50s (pretty sure he was undiagnosed ASD, too). He kept discriminating - blurting out religious prejudices and political prejudices (the usual ranting about leftists etc. from his brainwashed Daily Mail angle). People like that are utterly clueless about employment laws and office conduct. Once you flag it up, you can teach them an important life lesson.
Magrat said:I have bought ear plugs to wear so I can’t hear the whispering and am avoiding everyone but I feel very lonely and hurt.
Yes! These come in handy. Use earplugs.
As for whether to tell the business, that's up to you. Do you think they'll be fair about it? Are they a good employer? I mentioned it in my previous role and it helped clear up some issues.
Remember, there's The Equality Act 2010 there to protect your rights.
Some employers need reminding of that. It doesn't always work, sadly, as the Tories have made it increasingly difficult for employees to defend themselves, but it's better than nothing.