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Withdraw

NAS91402
8 months ago

Hello so I have the pleasure of knowing and loving a kind funny wonderful passionate ASD man  who I have had in my life for 14 months 

at Christmas he didn’t kiss whilst ML and as I am going through a lot (f death or mum, menopause, 2 other deaths a brother I didn’t know about to name a few)

I got angry we’ll upset I didn’t shout . He did try as he might to kiss me I wanted to understand why he didn’t I can’t just be loving again -

I got my answer it was  my chaos and how he thought his peculiar(his words not mine) was making me unhappy over the past 2 months (couldn’t of been further from the truth)  . He wrote a long letter about how he loved me but he’s shut down couldn’t speak and was leaving me to make me happier

I was crushed I wrote a long heartfelt letter back and have offered meet ups no pressure he ha come round twice -  have also offered phone calls so he doesn’t have to see me and can vent about work 

but I feel he’s getting further and further away I have told him I will wait and asked  what are  his rules of Engagement but he has expressed this. Just removed all emotion from his texts that are becoming less and less 

I have a lot of his stuff at my house his choice to leave when he came last Friday but he was dead behind the eyes 

I have been researching watching all YouTube, reading blogs . but I don’t know the answer to I leave him alone completely and wait for him to contact me also FTI he is also back on Sentra line 

can anyone tell me how to support or do I just leave him be I don’t want him thinking I’ve given up on him 

  • 8 months ago

    I would give him time and space. You sound very understanding. Its not easy. I have pushed partners away because i get overwhelmed. Give him space  when ge is ready, take it easy  limit how often you seeveach other, so you both have a balance that works fir you. Its easier sometimes for us to be on our own x

  • 8 months ago

    Leave him be. He, most likely, can't manage your psychic load. He has his own, which you haven't acknowledged him space for. He is trying to see to yours but it's a heavy alien artifact for him, your psychic load, on top of his own, which you are crowding out with own needs that you can easily see to for yourself.

    It may be too much for him, your load, and he feels for you but also feels over whelmed by your load. I know for myself I cannot abide mercurial, dram driven company for long!

    Here is where you get to practice some self sufficiency and find ways to meet these seeming overwhelming challenges via parties that are NOT in your personal sphere, IE; a professional or disinterested party, book or such.. NOT asking loved ones to bear it for you.

    As for menopause, which may be the biggest player in your drama, here's the bible for the menopausal years...

    This is THE book,

    https://www.amazon.com/New-Menopausal-Years-Alternative-Approaches/dp/1888123036

    Before internet this book was handed down sister to sister, in the age when people did not mention menopause at all. It was our hippy salvation.

    It's your key to finding your sea legs too. Get up and stand on them. No one else can go through what your going through for you. Warrior time, sister!  hoist the main sails and catch the winds of change! Life actually begins after menopause!