Published on 12, July, 2020
My relatives have always been not very nice to me since I was a child.
I am feeling down because of it.
They have said lots of hurtful things, and I always find myself trying harder and harder to be part of the wider family.
I am a polite nice person.
There has been gaslighting towards me and even belittling due to the fact that I do not own my home, in fact they turn their noses up at my cute little studio flat.
One year I invited them all to my birthday celebrations in a small venue in that it would only cost each person the amount of a drink or cheap meal and would have been under £10 each, they are used to spending much more for a meal. But I thought the relaxed atmosphere would be nice. They all either declined or ignored me.
My little cousin, who I always treated like a sister when growing up (I have no sisters or brothers so this was the next thing) is getting married, they got engaged a few years ago, but I only found out about the engagement just a few months ago. I now know that I have not been invited to the wedding but everyone else has apart from one other in the family who is not well off. I got upset, and said that I am sorry I did not send an engagement gift and that I will do so as a belated gift. Well I guess that is going to be a lot of money. But I will send it as I said I would.
I just feel that they do not know that they are neurodiverse too but they do not seem to be empathic or have limited empathic abilities. the other relative (the one also left out) and myself are highly empathic so it hurts us a lot to be treated like this.
I feel like nothing and feel that I am unloved by them.
I have the other relative and I have an uncle who is nice and I have a lovely boyfriend so I am lucky there.
But there is a huge gap in my life due to the way I was treated.
There has been a live long moments of belittlement and bullying by words from them all at different points in my life from childhood to adulthood. I always wish and crave that one day they will be nice and not have any dramas anymore, or at least less dramas, and just be a proper family.
Have you been through similar with family or friends? how do you cope? and any advice please.
Thank you
Hope you are well
Slightly off topic
This what happened in 2020 before COVID was declared:
Used to have a meeting before started at the library where used to volunteer (now gone to pot); this unfortunate day it was cancelled at short notice due to sickness. I used to get very upset.
The administrator explained to me in person what happened. Also I'd emailed her to say thank you for explaining what happened.
Out of the bloom I had to attend a meeting as someone said we need to talk. Also I was told not to contact the young administrator as doesn't know what to do with the emails.
Afterwards I returned home, emailed the person saying this wasn't expected and no reply back. The reason was that there was an incident.
My shock horror was that the local charity went behind my back, told the board of directors that they're concerned about my welfare. Told the person to step back. Plus told me to get counselling.
Also the local charity CEO was going sign post me to another organisation (made up story);
I ending up making a GP appointment and asked me why do the local charity were concerned about my welfare? My reply was I don't know.
The person did this to me was someone I knew for a longtime.
Most of the charity staff left due to burn out. Now they got new staff members. One got suspended.
I did tell my friends and listening services what happend. Told me they shouldn't of done this.
Still go there despite haven't forgiven them yet.
I was a volunteer there.