Published on 12, July, 2020
I used to do the whole "us vs them" thing with this, and on reflection I questioned whether this was a good idea. After all, we want them on our side.
However, I kind of get it. We are used to being "othered" and the double empathy problem exists for a reason.
I feel for me, it's almost like I'm speaking a completely different language at times, but I struggle with the translation. Even with autistic people, I may struggle with explaining what's going through my head, but it's still easier.
They're less likely to effectively shut me down and tell me to move on. I know NT's are well meaning but it couldn't be less helpful, which then leaves me feeling more ashamed and embarrassed, wishing I'd bottled it up instead.
I feel I'd want them to try and see it from my perspective but then I feel I'm asking for too much.
I'm going to chip in and say I think the "othering" could also be to do with social hierarchies. So in groups of people we naturally fall into roles or positions depending on who is more dominant or has more respect within the group. My experience is that it depends on the situation and people we are with and I observe other people behave differently depending on who is around. I feel very uncomfortable tarring people with a neurotypical brush but at the same time, get it. At a communication level it is difficult. But then isnt it more about how kind or understanding someone is, regardless of their brain wiring? In an ideal world, taking people as individual humans, everyone would meet somewhere in the middle and there'd be give and take on both sides