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Self-love

HMO
8 months ago

Whenever I would hear the saying "no one's going to like you if you don't like yourself" or "if you don't love yourself, how are you gonna love yourself", I used to reject it instantly. I would be like "how dare you suggest I'm unworthy of love" or something. 

I think differently now, as I get where it comes from. I know that I'm not the most fun to be around at the moment in what I would probably describe (if pushed) as a deep depression, although I'd more comfortably describe it as me just suffering the consequences of my own actions.

It did make me think though. My problem is I don't know the difference between self-love and arrogance. I'm so scared I'll come across as cocky and full of myself, so I go to the other extreme instead because it's more comfortable.

I've fully convinced myself that if I ever said "I'm proud of myself", the people around me would be like "you're so up yourself". Therefore I don't say it at all.

Dunno, I'm intrigued if there's anything that has worked for people and whether you see a change in how people respond to you if you start doing it.

Parents
  • 8 months ago

    Yeah, there's a fine line between being confident and outright arrogant. People get confused about that all the time, I think. Worse still, some people think being arrogant is acceptable or should be encouraged. The Kardashians are extremely arrogant, for example, and it's tedious. They're just obnoxious, but the fact so many people are envious of them is ridiculous. 

    There's nothing wrong with finding contentment. Where you're just satisfied with your present situation.

    That's what I've learned to appreciate over the last 10 years, particularly after reading a lot of Japanese literature. Tanizaki and the like. The authors teach you how to find enjoyment in the minor things in life (Teaism, minimalism, mingei), which then makes you realise social constructs such as wealth, power, status etc. are all nonsense. Very childish and idiotic.

    So long as you're not going around with a smug grin telling everyone you're better than they are, you're generally going to be a pretty likeable person. So, just take that step and find that first step up in your confidence. 

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  • 8 months ago

    Yeah, there's a fine line between being confident and outright arrogant. People get confused about that all the time, I think. Worse still, some people think being arrogant is acceptable or should be encouraged. The Kardashians are extremely arrogant, for example, and it's tedious. They're just obnoxious, but the fact so many people are envious of them is ridiculous. 

    There's nothing wrong with finding contentment. Where you're just satisfied with your present situation.

    That's what I've learned to appreciate over the last 10 years, particularly after reading a lot of Japanese literature. Tanizaki and the like. The authors teach you how to find enjoyment in the minor things in life (Teaism, minimalism, mingei), which then makes you realise social constructs such as wealth, power, status etc. are all nonsense. Very childish and idiotic.

    So long as you're not going around with a smug grin telling everyone you're better than they are, you're generally going to be a pretty likeable person. So, just take that step and find that first step up in your confidence. 

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