Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello all,
I hope you're all well.
I have a quick question, i am 31 and Autistic. I work, but struggle with the most basic tasks, that a friend or outsider would shake their head that i struggled with this.
I struggle with basic tasks, cooking, taking medication, personal hygiene. My mum helps me to keep on top of things and truth be told, with out her, i would be screwed.
My question is (this is me forward thinking): What do people do when their support system or support person either ends, runs out, dies etc and you are left alone to navigare the world alone.
As we all know, we all love a good routine and i personally like to plan things, so what i am asking is, have people done things/put plans in place when still with family for when they're eventually on their own?
Best,
It's a situation I will have to face in the not too distant future. I've continued to rely on my mum a lot throughout my adult life and I am finding it very hard to adapt now that she relies on me for almost everything.
When I read about any support for life transitions for autistic people it almost always talks about transition between schools or from education into the workplace. The massive life transition that arises from loss of a primary caregiver should be given more recognition, whatever the age of the autistic person.
Bereavement is hard for everyone but I think for autistic people, who already struggle greatly to adapt to change, it can be much harder. At a time of life when they need support more than ever there isn't any. It's a case of sink or swim. Those who sink can find themselves being sectioned and all the mistreatment that comes with being in such a situation.
Here is a tragic story of a (previously undiagnosed) autistic woman in her 50s who found herself being sectioned after the loss of her father. No human should ever be treated that way.
https://www.autistica.org.uk/get-involved/my-autism-story/jackies-story
Autonomistic said:Bereavement is hard for everyone but I think for autistic people, who already struggle greatly to adapt to change, it can be much harder. At a time of life when they need support more than ever there isn't any. It's a case of sink or swim. Those who sink can find themselves being sectioned and all the mistreatment that comes with being in such a situation.
I worried about losing my parents all my life. I mean really over the top, obsessional worry, starting probably around 10 years old.
But when it happened i just adapted instantly and barely felt anything. On the one hand I was relieved and proud that apparently i am more than capable of coping alone, but on the other hand horrified that I didn't feel anything.
That's interesting and it's reassuring to know that you have been able to cope alone. Perhaps all that worrying served a purpose in preparing you for what was going to happen.
I know CBT always teaches us that all worrying is bad but I think for autistic people it can serve a purpose. We can go through various possibilities and outcomes in our minds and when something actually happens it isn't such a shock.