Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm not a fan of them. Even as a little girl I never got excited for my birthday, in fact the weeks leading up to it were always filled with dread and this is something that's never changed.
My birthday is next month and I'm already dreading it. People keep asking me what I want, should we do a party, am I excited...
It must sound like I'm not grateful, I actually am grateful for the thought and care but as with every year I just want to stay in my room and wait for the day to be over. Everyone fusses and the majority know I don't like my birthday or celebrating but they do it anyway.
If it was a quiet occasion it would be much better and I wouldn't have such a big problem with it but it's never a quiet occasion and by the end of the day I'm always exhausted and nearing a meltdown.
There's still a month to go but I'm anxious already. If I'm really lucky they will forget it this year and I can carry on like normal.
I don't dislike the occurrence itself - one year older and all that. But I like it very low-key and with minimal centre of attention. Fortunately we're all a bit like that in my family, so we minimise the squirm factor for each other out of annual habit. And my very small circle of friends know to be light-touch on it too. I like it as a day where it's just like normal, but I take a moment to quietly reflect and take on board completion of another turn around the sun, and acknowledge that's one fewer to come from a total of....?
I wish I had your family mine make a big show out of it, no party but it's like it's their birthdays as well. It's like a theatrical play and I'm in the spotlight. Haha that was a strange way of putting it but it makes sense to me.
I think.
The another year older things scares me if I'm honest. I'm 19 soon but aging terrifies me.
It's all relative. 19 sounds soooooooooo young to me. :-)
Lol I feel really old I don't know why