Published on 12, July, 2020
One of the reasons I’ve ended up alone is that I spent years juggling working and looking after elderly parents. My dad had vascular dementia for several years then within weeks of his passing my mum developed several serious health conditions including Alzheimer’s.
Throughout these years it never occurred to me that I should do anything other than look after them even though it was at huge cost to myself. I know I’d do the same again.
But my brother felt no such duty or obligation and left me to it.
And now I find myself wondering, was that my autistic self allowing my brother to take advantage of me or could it have been inflexible autistic thinking not allowing me to see or take other choices.
Sorry, this is the sort of path my mind takes when spending a day like today alone
I think Martin is probably right. Some souls are just generous and giving...others, not so much...and in my experience, some are just unbelievably selfish. The two extremes very often don't behave like that "knowingly", it's just who they are.
Life is full of unexpected circumstances that can lead us to places that we never thought we would find ourselves. That's just life brother!
I hope you haven't felt "bad" today - just reflective and thoughtful. What you have done for your folks will have delivered to you benefits that you can't possibly isolate as such. It's always only the downsides that we seem to isolate with clarity?
You are a great human soul.....it shines even through this nonsense medium of writing via the interweb thingy. We are similar in age.....we still have MUCH living to be done....who knows what next Christmas may look like!
And.....btw.....you're not as alone as you may think....Martin and myself have your back brother.
Sleep well Amerantin. Happy Christmas.
Number.
Thank you Number and Martin . I burst into tears when I read that.