Published on 12, July, 2020
My therapist has repeatedly encouraged me to join some kind of club or a meetup group or do a class to get me out of the house and meet people, maybe even make some friends.
I see the point and there are classes I would find interesting, but the thought of going to one of these by myself is just too daunting. I find it difficult not to assume people tend to join these things with a friend and I don’t want to be the weird guy on his own.
Have any of you gone to these things by yourself? Do people really do that?
Oh dear. Yes I know that feeling too.I'm curious about what you studied at Uni now?
Public Libraries are good for just quietly being around others also.
Agreed....I do that/did that too.
Yes! Can relate to this. I do get those anxious feelings but now I force myself to go because I want to test my own personal comfort levels and get something enjoyable out of my life. Normally it involves masking but for me it's worth it at the end of the day because it got me out and interacting around others, even if it wasn't personal interaction.
Being around people but separate from them makes me feel worse. I spent my entire uni career going to lectures, labs and tutorials alone, eating lunch alone, all while surrounded by people who were in groups of friends and it made me feel like a ghost, invisible to the living. Not a feeling I’d willingly seek out.
I used to do that. I remember at one point a used to make a point of leaving the house once a day. And sitting in a Cafe would always occupy one day of my week. Public Libraries are good for just quietly being around others also.
Aaron said:I am also a cafe addict. It can be nice to sit at a table on my own but with people around. However I have got to know one or two
This has always been important to me....but when i found myself totally "down"....it was the main way that i eased myself "back out there." It is an excellent way for me to feel connected to other humans, simply by being around them.
Yes I have been to not classes but social groups. Every first Friday of the month I go to an autism board game afternoon. I also go to an autistic social group that funded by the nhs and it’s great in February we going to our local dog rescue to walk the dogs. I would say yes they are daunting but it’s worth it as you meet others on the spectrum and it’s a great way to socialise.
Hi I am going to a craft class which I love and I started asking some of the attendees if they wanted to go to a cafe afterwards which we now do. Turned into a bit of a social. I also attend Autism meet ups locally.
I also went to a language class for about a year. I met others and got to know them. It was a good experience.
Yes it is best to go for whatever suits you. Some of my local friends don’t like online meetings.
www.meetup.com also do in person meetings but I don’t know what is available in Glasgow.
In addition, doing an adult learning course gives you topics of conversation and usually you are doing stuff alongside people rather than with them. (Like doing a craft or fitness class) so there's an element of inclusion. Languages I think are a good way to interact because the interaction is purposeful rather than social. I think there's a lot to be said in learning for learning's sake. It doesnt always have to lead to anything concrete but it might ignite something in you.
That was beautifully put.. Well said.
Hey I think I might be a member of that meet up group! I'm just outside Stirling, so it's very rare that I actually get to any of their events though.
Yes they do. I did. It is always a bit weird and awkward. It can be a car crash...often...tbh....but if just 1/6 work out, then you are winning mate!
Sorry to whoever I offended with that post
I’m going to try and sign myself up for a language class in the new year. But I’ll have to be very deliberate in how I interact where people - I know I put up an invisible wall around myself so I need to force myself to make eye contact and respond to questions with more than yes or no.
The whole thing is fraught with danger for me but the alternative is worse.
Are you still going to any classes or meetings?
I think I need to try and meet people face to face. I might be being over ambitious in hoping to meet friends but I know that just wouldn’t happen with online meetings. I need to get out of the house more too!
I have done all kinds of groups and classes over the years. Most of them I went on my own and many other people started going on their own. Often It was attend, then later on bit by bit get to know people in stages. Have done
Drama
Journaling
upcycling
Art
Craft
Neurodivergent Spirituality
Meditation
One of the best for me was A Philosophy class. It was therapeutic in a sense of encouraging to be free thinking.
It can be a bit nervous at first but the fear did ease.
Walking groups can be good in that there was no obligation to chat but could just chat a bit now and then with who I was walking close to.
I am also a cafe addict. It can be nice to sit at a table on my own but with people around. However I have got to know one or two regulars.
Hi if you are ok with online Meetups there are some in different areas who accept people from other areas. My experience with the ones I have attended are they don’t usually get fully booked. Have had people from other countries join. An example is Adults With Autism West Midlands which I have joined. Can give you others if you are interested.
I will go, whether anyone else likes it or not. They don't call me Mellowjian for nothing.
Go sister