Published on 12, July, 2020
During my early twenties, I did an assertiveness training course. Part of the course focused on the way we communicate with other people and the choice of words we use.
Since becoming a member of this Community, I have observed that when members have a difference of opinion and discussions get heated, they will sometimes state their personal opinions as though they are facts.
For example, let's imagine that I consider someone to be a truly despicable person, and I say, "You are a vile person!" It comes across as though I am stating a fact. Therefore, if the person it is being said to gets defensive and responds negatively, one can hardly blame them.
However, if I say, "I think you are a vile person!", then it makes it clear that I am merely expressing MY opinion of that person. By using the words, "I think" at the beginning of that statement, I am owning that statement and accepting responsibility for it.
Does this make sense?
It makes a lot of sense Sparkly, yes! That qualifier helps a lot, but even more helpful (though it's easy to forget it in the heat of certain moments) is never to sum up someone's entire character with one reductive statement So 'I think that doing [x] was out of order, and it's made me feel wary of this side of you...' leaves more room for bridge-building in time.