Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi I'm mum and I'm allistic and my son is autistic. We had a Frank and sobering conversation today which shocked and saddened me but I'm glad in a way as I'm glad my son was honest with me..he told me in not so many words he'd rather not be alive due to his Autism as in life the one things he feels that matters the most is the emotional side of things which he can't have ie he was upset that he can't even experience those loving interactions that most neuro typical people take for granted..he basically feels very alone. I feel very sad for him and its frustrating as a mum who loves him very much that there is nothing I can do for him. So this is why I have come on here to ask the question of ..is there happiness to be had in this life when you have Autism? He works hard at fending off the depression that he feels as a result of Autism (ie not clinical depression) he exercises as he says that helps his mental state and he tries to eat right and he has stopped drinking alcohol all together. He doesn't feel enthusiastic about getting outside and doing anything as he says it won't make him any happier if he does interact with people even if he took meds to deal with anxiety etc he doesn't see the point.
It didn't help that my diagnosis was late into my 30s, but yes you can have a happy life with ASD. If you get the right support structures in place then it's more than possible. Over the last couple of years I've been happy, this year in particular after making a close friend.
Ignore the usual nonsense of what makes someone "happy" (i.e. money equalling "success" and a high-flying career, which are all irrelevant in the grand scheme of things) and let him focus on what it'll take to flourish.
Speak to your GP for advice.
But if he feels very alone then he can make steps to socialise. It could be anything. Play a video game where socialising is part of the experience. Get creative - write, draw, act. I've found creativity to be a brilliant outlet for alleviating personal issues as you have total control over your projects.
The alternate route is just to wallow and feel sorry for himself (like a certain someone else on this thread is doing and trying to drag everyone else down with him). The vacuous abandon self-improvement and begin lashing out at others.