Published on 12, July, 2020
When was the last time you said yes to something that you were scared of but still enjoyed? In sixth form I said yes to meeting my friends outside of school this was the first and last time I had been invited to something but I enjoyed it. It was scary, but I liked talking to some people. I don't like large groups of people, I like talking to a few people. This is one of my happiest memories. Recently I have defaulted to saying no to things because it is easier it doesn't fit my plans but I think I need to start saying yes to things even if I think I won't enjoy them, who knows what might happen.
hmm. it feels like a long time ago. I rarely get 'asked' anymore. I used to be part of a comedy group. Not for long but it was good. I was part of the improv group but I knew the sister of someone who hated me enough to lie about me was in the sketch group. I was afraid. I was afraid if I auditioned for the groups sketch show her sister would make up some drama to get me kicked out of the group just like she did. But I auditioned anyway and got a part playing a bond vilen like ecentric badguy. I'm glad I did it.
I have noticed I don't get asked to do stuff. Which feels strange as others must be asked and they must have some way of communicating to go do stuff together? Maybe, it is because I am scared of asking to join stuff thinking they won't want me there. Maybe I just have an aura that suggests to people that I shouldn't be invited to stuff. Maybe they just don't like me. Perhaps there is some hidden ritual to it that I don't understand. Because of this I lie to myself that it is better to not do stuff. I think you just need to be more active in it instead of passive, instead of letting others take responsibility you need to start creating opportunities to do stuff with other people Daniel wendler wrote about this in his book improving social skills, I am probably going to need to reread that section.
I have noticed I don't get asked to do stuff.
It's going back a good many years ago, but I can remember feeling incredibly upset, angry, and hurt after discovering a cousin was having a weekend family get-together for her 21st birthday. My parents had been invited, along with my gran, aunts and uncles, and other cousins. However, neither I nor my son had been invited.
Why? Because my cousin and her parents had figured that I probably wouldn't enjoy it, and would have declined the invitation if I'd been asked. With the benefit of hindsight, they may have been right. However, it would have been nice to have been asked, as opposed to assumptions being made.