Published on 12, July, 2020
When was the last time you said yes to something that you were scared of but still enjoyed? In sixth form I said yes to meeting my friends outside of school this was the first and last time I had been invited to something but I enjoyed it. It was scary, but I liked talking to some people. I don't like large groups of people, I like talking to a few people. This is one of my happiest memories. Recently I have defaulted to saying no to things because it is easier it doesn't fit my plans but I think I need to start saying yes to things even if I think I won't enjoy them, who knows what might happen.
Maybe go to an indoor skiing centre or some such. We get very little snow in Manchester but this one let us go for it! There is a big ski slope called the Chill Factore, but I've never been.
So cool - no pun intended. I have never been sledging but it's one of those things I'd really love to do. We don't get any snow here so it's highly unlikely I'll ever experience it unless I move North.
A girl called Tracey texted me if I would go to the theatre with her. The theatre was a place I've always admired from afar as I love its old fashioned architecture and my special interest is acting so I was always tempted but too anxious to go by myself.
When she asked I wanted to say no but she gave me that big eyes look and fluttered her eyes, you know like girls do and so I said yes.
It turns out it was one of my favourite days and experiences. ️ I got to meet our local talent, see rehearsals and I got some amazing acting tips from a couple of directors.
I have noticed I don't get asked to do stuff.
It's going back a good many years ago, but I can remember feeling incredibly upset, angry, and hurt after discovering a cousin was having a weekend family get-together for her 21st birthday. My parents had been invited, along with my gran, aunts and uncles, and other cousins. However, neither I nor my son had been invited.
Why? Because my cousin and her parents had figured that I probably wouldn't enjoy it, and would have declined the invitation if I'd been asked. With the benefit of hindsight, they may have been right. However, it would have been nice to have been asked, as opposed to assumptions being made.
I said yes to a pot luck. Everyone was really sweet. Most of the food I couldnot eat but I enjoyed listening and being heard.
you need to start creating opportunities to do stuff with other people
It sounds so easy when you say it like that. Alas it's not. It's not a confidence issue, it's an conection / opening issue. If you have no conections or open doors how do you creat an oppotunity?
I supose if you have money you can always throw that at the problem. Like the great gatsby. Throw lavish parties in your mansion every month. alas I am a man of modist means.
I cannot recall when I last said "Yes" to something that I was scared of, or thought I wouldn't enjoy. However, in my almost 49 years, it is something I have done on numerous occasions. Sometimes I have regretted saying "Yes", but sometimes it has paid off and I have been left feeling pleasantly surprised and happy.
Yeah, I've always been a Nintendo fan. Had an N64 back in the day and have the habit of adding 64 to things, like all the games did back then.
I also like baked potatoes.
I have noticed I don't get asked to do stuff. Which feels strange as others must be asked and they must have some way of communicating to go do stuff together? Maybe, it is because I am scared of asking to join stuff thinking they won't want me there. Maybe I just have an aura that suggests to people that I shouldn't be invited to stuff. Maybe they just don't like me. Perhaps there is some hidden ritual to it that I don't understand. Because of this I lie to myself that it is better to not do stuff. I think you just need to be more active in it instead of passive, instead of letting others take responsibility you need to start creating opportunities to do stuff with other people Daniel wendler wrote about this in his book improving social skills, I am probably going to need to reread that section.
hmm. it feels like a long time ago. I rarely get 'asked' anymore. I used to be part of a comedy group. Not for long but it was good. I was part of the improv group but I knew the sister of someone who hated me enough to lie about me was in the sketch group. I was afraid. I was afraid if I auditioned for the groups sketch show her sister would make up some drama to get me kicked out of the group just like she did. But I auditioned anyway and got a part playing a bond vilen like ecentric badguy. I'm glad I did it.
Good. Hopefully it will make the next time easier. I am curious about your name is it a play on Nintendo 64 which I think was a game console? Do you just like baked potatoes? Are there others of your kind we will meet one day? A baked potato 32 or baked potato 16 perhaps.
I was invited to go sledging over the weekend. Every fibre of my being wanted to say no, but I forced myself along and had a good time. I've taken this attitude more in 2023 and it's had some very positive results.