Published on 12, July, 2020
I’ve had problems with using telephones forever, I get anxiety and just struggle with most phone calls. I’m fine with text messages and emails, I still don’t answer them immediately. I understand the difference with being able to plan replies to texts and emails.
My question is a family member just keeps mentioning how I never answer my phone, “why can’t you answer your phone?” It’s something I struggle to explain, I still don’t fully understand.
Is there a really good link or tube video that will explain the reasons why autistic people struggle so much with telephones? It needs to be in very plain language. I’ve tried to explain to the person but normally just shutdown.
Do you use Instagram? There are some good explanations of why telephone calls may not suit autistics on that platform.
Alternatively, here are 2 good articles about why telephone calls are not suited to autistics:
https://www.authenticallyemily.uk/blog/why-phone-calls-can-be-incredibly-difficult-for-autistic-people-and-people-with-anxietyhttps://www.thearticulateautistic.com/why-your-autistic-loved-one-doesnt-pick-up-the-phone/
I don’t really understand why your family can’t just accept that you don’t use the phone, after all there are many other ways to communicate!
Anyway, I hope this helps!
Thank you for sharing those links Ausomely Autistic . I have a similar issue to Roy, although in my case it only tends to be an issue when it's my mother phoning me.
I am happy for you that your mum was so understanding of your social challenges L, and am sorry that she is no longer in your life (in a physical sense). I understand what it is like to lose a parent, especially one that we had a good relationship with.
With the odd exception, many of the people I communicate with (close friends and relatives) have Messenger, so for that reason, I have never felt a need to use WhatsApp.
Sorry to hear that with your mum Sporadic Sparkly
My mum is dead now but I was lucky that she understood me on a deep level more than anyone else ever has.
She was able to communicate with me without making eye contact, she never called me and she was always understanding with my social challenges.
I miss her a lot. No one since my mum has been like that.
Have you tried emailing your mum?
Or WhatsApp?
They might be a better alternative for you :)
Sporadic Sparkly said: Using one of those articles you shared as a guide, I explained in my own words why phone conversations can be so anxiety-inducing.
Great I am glad these articles have helped you explain your own autistic needs! I hope communication with your mother will soon become easier.
Sporadic Sparkly said:I've taken to communicating with my mother via Messenger, which she hates because she finds verbal communication easier. Since my dad died, she has felt lonely and isolated, so there's also a need to hear a "friendly voice" at the other end of the telephone.
I understand that, I suppose it is a matter of finding a compromise that suits both your needs.
I normally contact my mother by messenger, I sent the first link to her. I’m not confident enough to put it on FB as nobody knows about my autistic life.
Ausomely Autistic ,
I've taken to communicating with my mother via Messenger, which she hates because she finds verbal communication easier. Since my dad died, she has felt lonely and isolated, so there's also a need to hear a "friendly voice" at the other end of the telephone.
In the past, I have attempted to diplomatically explain to her why I don't like telephone conversations with her, but it's always fallen on deaf ears. However, for the first time in over a year, I logged into my Facebook account this morning and posted a status update, which was mainly for her benefit. Using one of those articles you shared as a guide, I explained in my own words why phone conversations can be so anxiety-inducing.
Hi Sparkly
You are very welcome! Could you ask your mother to communicate with you in another way? Such as text messaging?